www.byzcath.org Forums Faith & Christian Life The Christian East & West Remembering the Dead East-N-West

This thread is inspired by a question Alex posed on the "liturgy name" thread regarding how Hispanics observe All Soul's Day in the Latin Rite. I'd like to expand this so everyone can share their own customs and traditions, according to their rite or heritage.

So, how do you remember and honor the dead?

On the other thread, Bernardo wrote:
To add to what Bernardo wrote: the cempas�chil flower is the marigold, which is the flower most associated with this holiday and with the dead in Mexico. In Durango they're known as sampuales. Customs can vary a lot from state to state and some customs are more elaborate than others. The symbolism also varies. For instance, I never learned to put salt on the children's altars, only on the adults. On the children's altars I learned to put piloncillo instead, which are small cones of sugar. A lot of people place glasses of water on the altars becuase the souls are thought to be "thirsty".

All sorts of favorite things are placed on altars too, not just food. So if somone liked smoking and playing cards you might find cigarrettes and a deck of cards on their altar.

I used to be involved at an exhibition at a local college and set up altars their every year as well as at my home. I loved how, when we'd hold the reception, all the candles were lit and the smell of candles and flowers filled the gallery. I also spent Day of the Dead one year in Durango, Mexico with my aunt and uncle and remember the masses and masses of marigolds and other floweres as we made our way to the cemetary and the music and celebration when we were there. It really is a happy time.

I'm tired but I'll write some more tomorrow. I hope others share as well.

Dear Amigos!

I saw a beautifully appointed altar of the dead in a museum in Puerto Rico last year, quite something, sugar skulls and all!

The only thing that comes close to this is the Slavic Eastern tradition of attending the cemetery during Easter/Pascha where a meal is eaten near the graves of one's relatives, an Easter egg is pushed into the ground of the graves etc.

During Christmas in Eastern Europe, there is the tradition of people getting dressed up as everything from Pontius Pilate to beelzebub and walking around in the night - a scary sight!

St Andrew's Day on Dec. 13th (OC) is a day that is sometimes devoted to divination and costume parties the so-called "Andriyivsky Vechir" or "Andrew's Eve."

Our All Saints' Day is the first Sunday following Pentecost - the Saints are honoured as the collective Icon of the Holy Spirit.

The dead are honoured on the first, third, ninth, fortieth days after the repose, on the first half-year, and then on each anniversary of death.

Traditionally, agape's organized after the services are to be done with sobriety, with eating in silence.

A picture of the deceased is placed on the table with a candle while someone reads Psalm 118. It is incumbent on the family to read as much of the Psalter as possible during the 40 days after someone's death.

(The gospel is read for a deceased priest.)

There is an akathist plus canons to various saints associated with the dying (ie. St Paisius).

There is St Demetrius Saturday in November on which prayers for the dead are offered, one attends the cemetery at Pentecost, there are the Saturdays of Lent as well.

The use of the altar in the Hispanic tradition is remarkable.

I've seen St Joseph Altars among the Italians and there are many in New Orleans, even outdoor ones, in March. One may also visit Catholic institutions that have their St Joseph altars on display during that time.

Purple and yellow - I take it purple is the colour for the dead but why yellow for the living?

Is it because so many of us are afraid of dying?

Alex

Alex, you might have it a little backwards. It's the marigold rather than the colors that are associated with the dead (so much that I knew a lady who simply called them flor de muerto, or "flower of the dead").

I think that's how yellow and orange became traditional colors for the festival but really any bright colors will do.

For instance, I read in a book that in some places in Puebla state they decorate the altars all in white so this can too can vary.

The marigold is traditional but other flowers are commonly used, like 'baby's breath'. Really, anything that's available including paper and silk flowers.

I use mums from my garden. I always set out a small altar on my icon table to remember my two sons who died shortly after being born. I leave out the little caps they wore in the hospital, some candles, flowers, and water. I used to leave out candy, too, but they would turn 16 this year (maybe a matchbox car for each this year). One my sons swore he saw them come through on Noche de los Muertos one year. I think it is a good way to honor their eternal memory.

Dear Manuel,

Oh!

Our Italian community uses purple as the colour of the dead.

Sorry!

Alex

What are funerals like in the Byzantine Churches? Are there differences between the different Slavic, Greeks, and Arabs churches?

Manuel,

The text of the Melkite Order of the Funeral of the Reposed [rongolini.com] . It has become increasingly common, at least at the Cathedral and I believe in many other of our parishes, for our wakes to be held in the church, rather than the funeral home.

Many years,

Neil

J,

Memory eternal to your little boys.

Many years,

Neil

Neil,
thank you for your reply. The link describes a service at a funeral home. Is there a Divine Liturgy with the body afterwards?

Is there a particular reason why wakes are being held in church? Is this all night or for a few hours?

Here in the U.S. we have visiting hours (for most of the day) at the funeral home and at some point a rosary at the funeral home or with the body at the church, eventually followed by a funeral Mass and a service at the grave.

Back in Mexico in the rural areas the family of the deceased is supposed to keep vigil with the body overnight in the deceased's home (cities and the larger towns have funeral homes). When my grandfather died it was actually two nights so we could make sure as much family as possible reached the funeral in time. We weren't supposed to leave the body unattended at any moment which wasn't too hard since there was usually someone in the room praying. We also had to provide food and drink to any who came, even at 5 in the morning. There's usually a bonfire outside at night where men sit, drink, and talk. Inside its flowers, candles, and prayers around the casket. I remember around 1 or 2 in the morning some of the ladies began singing hymns. It was very moving.

If anyone wants to see what Day of the Dead looks like there are couple of pictures of nice altars or ofrendas (offerings) on this page [mexiculture.com] and you can find more pictures here [acabtu.com.mx] and a nice collection here. [diademuertos.com]

La Familia Felix,
I'll remember your little boys tonight.


Alex,
you've mentioned the beads Tammy made for you. You might find this link useful:
A Mexican Way of Praying the Rosary [ixeh.net]

Manuel,

Actually, if you read down further, you will see that it goes on to describe:

And goes on again to describe the prayers at the graveside:

One of the problems with this particular edition is that Father Ron presents the entire text in simple typeface and does nothing (such as highlighting) to set off commentary and instruction versus the text of prayers, etc.. I don't think he intended it as other than a reference text (i.e., it wasn't prepared for actual usage), thus it takes careful reading to pick out some of the distinctions.

As to the Divine Liturgy, the text also goes on to note:

As a direct reply to your query; the funeral is generally served with the service of the Divine Liturgy, with the body present. There was a brief period, shortly after Archbishop Joseph, of blessed memory, came to the US in 1970, when he attempted to separate the Liturgy from the Funeral Service, which apparently is the usual practice in the old country. It was a short-lived and unsuccessful attempt; it was perhaps the most controversial thing he ever did and probably the only time that his leadership was rejected by his people. Americans were very accustomed to having the full Divine Liturgy served and were not about to accept anything less. It is rare to see the service performed without an accompanying Divine Liturgy (Archbishop Joseph's own funeral is the last that I recollect attending).

Honestly, I cannot remember what precipitated the holding of wakes in the church itself. We are blessed with two funeral directors who are themselves Eastern Catholics, a Melkite and a Maronite. Between them, they provide virtually all the services for the local Eastern Catholic and Orthodox (Maronite, Melkite, Antiochian, and Syriac) communities and are very willing to cooperate with whatever the family wishes. The practice of holding the wake in the church itself is limited to the Melkites, as far as I know. The Orthodox generally do not serve the Divine Liturgy in conjunction with the funeral service or with the body in the church; they conduct the service at the funeral home itself, followed by graveside prayers.

The wake at the church is not continued overnight, except in the case of priests; generally, it maintains the same hours as would be the case at the funeral home.

The all-night vigil wakes, I would say, ended when waking the reposed at home ceased to be the common custom. Ah, one exception, we did encounter it with the wake of a Romany (Gypsy) man, whose family requested that he be buried from our church - they were, as I recollect, Byzantine Croat Catholics and would not use the nearby Ukrainian parish because of bad-feeling between the two ethnicities, tracing back to WWII.

Many years,

Neil

Dear Manuel,

How absolutely wonderful!

Thank you for sharing that devotional gem!!

(As the kids were coming by for Halloween last night, I prayed the Rosary of the Dead . . .)

One mother, seeing the large skull on it, said to her daughter, (Look, there's a scary man!)

I don't think I'm so scary . . .

Alex

Manuel, in our house we celebrate seven All Souls days, the Saturday of Meatfare (second Saturday before the first day of Lent), the second, third, and fourth Saturdays of Lent, Radonitsa which is the Tuesday after Thomas Sunday (First Sunday after Pascha or Easter), Saturday before Pentecost, and around St. Demetrius' day on October 26/November 8 (some have it before St. Demetrius day, some after, some on the day).

Every Saturday in the Byzantine Divine office (Horologion) has a minor commemoration of all the faithful departed.

Dear Alice,

Yes, I've been reprimanded by all kinds of people in my life for being TOO funny!

Alex