www.byzcath.org Forums Faith & Christian Life Prayer Confession-gap

Hello, I'm new to this forum and I would just appreciate a prayer of hope. Having not been to church in quite a while, and having not been able to accept Our Lord's body and blood because of a sinful soul has caught up with me. I haven't been to confession since my First Communion at 8 years old. It frightens me because I want so much to be a follower of God and believer of Jesus Christ, but I am still scared of not knowing how to go about this. If this post seems confusing it's because I am quite confused myself. I pray every day for the Lord to grant me the strength and courage to overcome whatever obstacles stand in the way of salvation.

For all the prayers that have been requested in this forum, I pray with all my meager might for all, that love, peace, happiness, health and joy all find you.

God Bless All

Dear MsGuided,

I love the screen name.

There are many excellent guides to walk you through Confession. Step one is to pray and do what Catholics call examining your conscience, which often involves going through a list of possible sins based on the Ten Commandments. The point is to make clear just why whatever is bothering your conscience was wrong, not to make as long a list as possible, but if some others things come to mind when reading the list, confess those sins too. The back pages of many old (pre-Vatican II) Roman Catholic hand missals have such guides, and I'm sure you can find similar booklets at Roman Catholic churches or religious bookshops today. (There are Byzantine guides based on this model too.)

Then approach the confessional in whatever form it takes (booth/box, kneeler/screen, icon stand, room) and let the priest walk you through the ritual. Before confessing you may want to tell him your circumstances as you have here.

Confess whatever is on your conscience, with the intention of not making those mistakes ever again.

If you are Roman Catholic, the priest may assign you a penance ("say three Hail Marys', etc.) as a kind of medicine to heal your soul from the damage done to it by your sins, even after they are forgiven — also a kind of preventative medicine. Byzantine priests often don't assign penances.

Then the priest pronounces absolution and you have a clean slate! Hooray! The Church Fathers in ancient times called Confession a second Baptism because like Baptism it washes away your sins.

Then go, pray, receive the Eucharist as often as you can and grow in grace, keeping the flame of saving grace lit in you that day ever alive, ever burning, and sin no more.

And pray for me, a sinner.

http://oldworldrus.com

[ 02-07-2002: Message edited by: Serge ]

Msguided- I, too, have been where you are now. My gap was not as long as yours, but as troubling and frightening to me. Do not be afraid, the advice Serge has given you is the advice someone had given me 20 years ago. He is truly a wise man and knows of what he speaks. I can promise you that the feeling of coming home and of being truly forgiven is something you HAVE to avail yourself of. May God Bless you and your quest. He has brought you this far, do not stop now!

May God Bless and protect you,
Michael

Thank you both very much. This Sunday I'm going to try and make it to Mass hopefully someplace close to my University. Afterwards I plan on trying to speak to a priest and asking about days, times, etc. for Confession. I believe my boyfriend has given me one of the booklets you spoke about, Serge, so I'll be taking that into account. I pray for you all that your roads are paved in happiness Thanks again.
God Bless All

Dear MsGuided,

Wait, come back, I want to say something to you too!!

One thing you should guard against is being overly scrupulous in this matter. Be sure and give the priest an idea of the length of time etc. and he will be happy to work with you "Ms" and guide you through it.

A wonderful preparation for confession and Communion is the saying of a short prayer that brings peace, stability and happiness to our souls.

This prayer is: Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.

This is the Jesus Prayer of the Eastern Church. You can say it on a rosary or anykind of beads, a necklace for example.

Or you can take some cord and tie 30 or 50 knots and use it this way.

Or you can just say it as many times as you like, morning or evening and throughout the day.

Pretty soon, you will want to say it and your heart will be drawn to cling to the Name of the Lord Jesus Who brings light, warmth and inner healing to us all!

Alex

Dear MsGuided,

I pray for you as you take the steps to reconcile. It is hard to do.

I think that Reader Serge has given as succinct and accurate description of the process as I've seen. His is a very orthodox Orthodox/Catholic explanation.

The other posters make good points also.

So, I'll just pray that you experience the Gentle Mercy of the Master when you experience Second Baptism.

Steve
JOY!

Dear MsGuided [ we'll need to have a better name than that 'cos you aren't ]

I hope I'm not too late, but following on all the other advice. help/prayers given I would just add one thing - ask to see the priest outside of the normal times so that there is no pressure on you thinking that others are waiting.

God will be with you
Angela

[ 02-09-2002: Message edited by: Our Lady's slave of love ]

Dear "ms"

Be at peace as all have stated. I was a convert and my first confession was such a joy. I was a bit concerned, but the priest made it easy.

Some of the priests will give you kind of a grocery lists of sins to start with and ask if you are sorry for them. These are kind of common things that we all struggle with. This really allows you to focus on those things that are in the forefront of your mind and heart. It also makes it easier for you to start.

One of my friends said she was going to have to stand before God on the day of judgement with a lot of stuff that had happened in her life. Confession was making that a lot easier, because she was already practicing standing before him in the presence of the priest.

Oh, it is so good to hear the priest pray the prayer of absolution over you for Jesus. Such joy!

Another thought, they really don't remember your confessions. They just give them to Jesus.

Rose

I second Alex's remark, and believe me, his bit of advice is most essential: Avoid overscurpulosity; it isn't pleasant (yours truly a veteran of that ugly war). Be simple and confess in good faith.

You have my prayers. Rest assured I'll be a happy person once I know you've done what is needed and have received forgiveness. If you find an excellent priest (inshallah), take him as a confessor and spiritual father. You will then be able to grow in the spiritual life. These days, going solo can be difficult.

Pray for me, a sinner.

In IC XC
Samer

+Glory to Jesus Christ!
Glory to Him Forever!

Dear MsGuided,

Glory to Jesus Christ! God (and all of heaven) must be so happy to have you seeking so earnestly for Him!

The advice given here already is very good.
An "examination of conscience" can be a very helpful guideline, especially if you are new to Confession, haven't been in a while, or are confused about something. Also, try getting out a sheet of paper and a pencil and writing down a list of just what sins are bothering you (every one that you remember, but don't stress about whether you've unintentionally forgotten something)...write down things that you may have a question about too, so you can ask the priest. You can do this as you "examine your conscience." Bring this paper with you to Confession. (You can tear it to pieces afterward if you like! ) Ask as many questions as you need; and listen to the priest's answers! This will help put your soul and conscience at peace.

And yes, as Angela says, asking the priest to hear your confession at a separate time than the regularly scheduled times for confession can help. You can then take a little more time if you like, without worrying that you are taking too long. And I would also like to reaffirm another thing someone else has said--be sure to tell the priest right off the bat what your situation is; that you haven't been to Confession in a while, etc., and maybe he will take extra care to lead you through the confession.

I will pray that you find an especially cool priest to hear your Confession, who will be extra patient and happy to guide and lead you through your Confession and coming home to the Church, and help you come closer to Christ through the awesome Mysteries (Sacraments) of Holy Confession and Holy Communion!!

I hope this is helpful!

God bless,
Liz :-)

[ 02-09-2002: Message edited by: Liz ]

[ 02-09-2002: Message edited by: Liz ]

Dear Sister MsGuided, I am so happy to meet you here. I can only echo the advice that Alex, Liz and our other friends have given.

Absent all the canononical issues, the fact remains: God is; and Our Lord came to help us cast off all the crap that has accrued over the years. Byt the very fact that you are concerned about both confessing and getting rid of the burden, you have come more than half way.

Find a priest, explain where you have come from, and ask the priest to help you dispose of all the stupid stuff in your past life. Any priest worth his salt with be more than grateful to help you do this.

No matter what happens, nor how, always remember that it is YOUR rejection of past evil that is your justification before the throne of Christ.

(As a silly sideline to this topic, I fly a LOT for my work; and I'm not an "easy flyer". As we taxi from the gate to the runway, I say a prayer asking for forgiveness (and a safe flight!!) and rest assured that my request will be heard by the Lord and that my evils will be forgiven. And you too should have this assurance. It is your belief and mindset that will justify you before whatever may come.) The very fact that you are concerned about your spiritual well-being makes you MORE than worthy of forgiveness.

It oftentimes seems a platitude that "God will forgive". The reality is: "He does. No questions asked."

Rejoice in the graces that have been given to you. I do.

Blessings, my sister!

This past Sunday I went to mass in my school, by chance it was the Black History Month mass, so the guest, Fr. Innocent, was not hearing confessions.
Luckily, today, after a night and day of worries about not only confession but other things in school, I did it. I went to the priest, I told him my situation, and he was very kind. He reassured me that, although I was going through a lot in my heart and mind just by being there (which was obvious because I barely had time to sit down before I was crying) and he assured me that God knows what is in my heart, because He is in my heart. I've just had 10 years of sin absolved. And Rose, you are right, those words made me so happy. You have all been right, and I thank you with everything that I am and everything God has made me.
Afterward, the priest gave me a big hug (which I sorely needed) and said, "You know, you made my day." Little does he know that this day made my short 17 years. Once again, from the happiest sinner, thank you all

Also, not to leave anyone out, because everyone's prayers echoed in my mind, but I must also thank Mor Ephrem. He hasn't posted on this thread, but I've thankfully gotten a chance to speak to him privately, and Phil, you've made much of a difference in my life Like a crazed person, I thank everyone again, I feel, like you have all said, like I have had my Second Baptism. God Bless You All!

Praise be to Jesus Christ!

Dear MsGuided- I am so happy that you have taken this step. I pray with my whole heart that the same feeling you felt then remains with you for the rest of your life. Let your love and Faith be a beacon to others, both in your family and those who meet you.

God Bless you,

Michael

MsGuided,

Congratulations- you've done it - and what a wonderful way to start Lent. You must feel as if you are now floating through the air.All that weight has gone.

Now you can concentrate on preparing for Easter - the greatest Feast that ever was - and what an especially wonderful one it will be for you this year.

Please pray for me as I make my journey of preparation.

May Our Blessed Lady, Mother of us all, my Mistress keep you in Her tender care and lead you to Her wonderful Son.

Angela