www.byzcath.org Forums Faith & Christian Life Prayer Prayers for healing

Dear all,

I'm going through a really rough time right now. Basically, I'm in a situation in which I'm feeling a great deal of envy, anger, grief, and bitterness.

Here's the situation: I live with my dad, and he has had to sell our house. The people who bought it are buying it for their 21-year-old daughter; I currently cannot afford to get my own place and will have to live for a few months with my dad in the apartment he's getting.

Meanwhile, I'm seething with jealousy that this young girl's parents are buying her a freaking HOUSE, while I have to live in an apartment with my dad. I can't help but think bitterly, "Must be nice!" I should also mention that the house is an attachment to my deceased mom- there are memories of her everywhere in it.

The other day, the girl's mom brought her over to look at it, and I left the house for a little while (Dad was home). I came back about forty-five minutes later to find that they hadn't left yet. Instead, there is the girl and her mom sitting in the living room, with a freaking DECORATOR, who is showing them paint swatches. Needless to say, that did little to make me feel better.

Any advice or prayers you could offer would be greatly appreciated (except for "Quit being a spoiled !@#@$ brat!", which may be what I need to hear....)

Yours in the risen Christ,

Karen

Karen,

Prayers for the Lord to help you overcome all that afflicts you and to show you the path towards His humility.

In IC XC,
Father Anthony+

Dear Karen,

First of all I would like to say that bitterness and envy are natural, but as Christians we CAN and must overcome them.

Persons such as you and I have willingly decided to become followers of Christ. In making such a commitment, we honestly ask God for His will in all things.

He is now in charge of your life and your destiny. The Christian walk isn't always easy or ideal as far as the values of the world, but it is the walk to our personal salvation. God, the loving Father, knows what is best for our souls, and what is best for our souls, is not always what we want, or dreamt for our lives.

You must trust that He knows best.I always remember this and submit to His Fatherly will when those memories that could cause bitterness come to my mind.

We have ALL had disappointments, sorrows, sadness, and even bitterness--and these situations ultimately comes with the question: "why God"???? You are not alone.
And ofcourse, we inevitably look around at others, (as you are looking at the young girl who is getting your family house) and we see a different reality from our own...one that looks ideal and enviable.

However, what I think helps when these temptations of bitterness encroach, is to put things into perspective. Yes, you are losing your family house. Yes, you can't afford a house of your own. Yes, you and your father will be living in an apartment--and compared to that girl, it is really upsetting, but try to remember that 1. you have a father and others don't, 2. You have a roof over your head and a bed to sleep in when others don't, 3. You had a wonderful lifetime of memories in that house with your mother...and in all of this you need to thank God, and then count all the other blessings which God has given you. Infact, you probably have talents and gifts which others could also look at you with envy about, yet, you probably would not like it if they felt that way about you. This is where 'do unto others' comes into importance in our lives.

Yes, things look pretty depressing now, but don't entertain that. Humbly and earnestly thank God for those blessings which you have, praise God for His resurrection which you are still celebrating, and ask God to forgive you and to help you overcome your negative feelings. God never spurns a contrite heart. He loves you and cares about you, and don't lose hope, because circumstances can change and they can change drastically. You are a beautiful young woman with a lovely personality who has many years ahead of you. Rejoice in your relative youth and all the possiblities of the future, and remember that with God all things are possible.

If you need to feel the need to cry, to mourn, and even to briefly feel sorry for yourself, do it...we females are fortunate in that tears come easily to us, and they can be quite emotionally cathartic.

Finally, I have found that a good counterbalance to our minds going wild with 'logismoi' (remember the teachings about them from Father Maximos whom we both want to meet?)...pray the Jesus prayer over and over...it really does help.

My prayers for you sweet sister in Christ. Be well and God bless you.

In Christ, our hope and our anchor,
Alice

Dear Father Anthony,

Bless!

Thank you for your prayers. You commented on the path to humility, and I realized the problem, as always, is pride. How many different forms it can take, how sneakily and insideously it can affect us!

My grief is natural, but to be jealous and angry over losing my house is prideful-- "why should so-and-so have more than I do, when I'm more deserving?" I'm being like the jealous brother in the Prodigal Son story-- different situation, but the same bitter attitude.

God bless you!

Yours in the risen Christ,

Karen

Dear Alice,

Thank you so much for your advice and your prayers. Good Friday (the day the girl came over) was particularly a bad day, and yesterday was pretty bad too for some reason. You could say that I was being attacked by bad logismoi. :rolleyes: I should realize by now that the devil is behind attacks of anger, bitterness, and despair. He doesn't like to see happy Christians. He wants to rob us of our joy.

I've resolved to try to be grateful for what I have, and to look at this move as an adventure-- something new, and quite possibly something very good.

I have a lot ot be grateful for, when I put things into perspective... I'm going to be teaching this year, and won't have to wait too long before the new school year starts and I can get my own apartment (I want to stay in the same complex as Dad, which is admittedly a very nice one).

I just passed the elementary education certification test, with the help of the Most Holy Theotokos (I couldn't have done it alone, being as unprepared as I was). I really don't have much reason to be bitter or angry. Some people have more than you do, that's just life. Being angry over something over which you have no control is just a waste of energy.

I'm going to try to be happy for the girl, who seems really sweet and is very excited. And besides, now SHE can clean this house. And she has a labrador retriever, so good luck to her with that! When I dogsat my sister's chocolate lab, I had to vacuum the living room every day because she shed so much....

God bless you Alice! Have a happy remainder of Holy Week and a blessed Pascha.

Your sister in the risen Christ,

Karen

Dear Karen,

Thanks for your Paschal wishes.

I am glad that you are feeling better. Letting go of our emotions by talking about them and discussing them in a non-malicious way is sometimes a good and cathartic thing to do.It helps put things back into the proper focus.

I am also glad that things are not that gloomy and that, indeed, you have many good things ahead of you to look forward to!

We, on the forum, look forward to your continuing participation and your enthusiastic and wonderful Christian personality.

With love in Christ,
Alice

Thanks, Alice... I don't know if I would describe my personality as particularly Christian, but I'm glad you like it.

And yes, I do feel better... right now, I'm burning some beautiful-smelling incense, enjoying my morning coffee, and listening to Yanni. Life is good.

Love,

Karen