www.byzcath.org

In another thread, Dan Lauffer mentioned that his mother died last Saturday. I offer this thread for prayers. May God grant her a place of rest and repose, where there is no pain sickness sorrow or mourning.

Eternal Memory.

After the trials and tribulations of this life ,
may she rest in peace.

Angela

I've thanked several already for their kindness and their prayers. I wish to add here a thank you to all I may I neglected to thank already. God bless you for your love.

Dan Lauffer

May she rest in Christ's Peace.

Memory Eternal!

Michael

Dear Dan:

Having lost my own mother exactly ten years ago, I know considerably, how you feel at this moment and how you will feel for some time. I say "considerably" because each loss, each circumstance is unique in itself, just as we are all unique as human beings. But, since we share that common human ground, much is indeed the same.

A wealth of wisdom has been spoken by our posters here. There is not much more that I can "sermonize" about, except to speak out of the experience of my own heart.

You say that you had been preparing to speak at your mother's funeral for all of your life. That is true to a great degree, I'm sure, but knowing this scenario personally, it is never something that we can be totally ready for, despite our preparations. Even if we know that death is imminent, it always takes us by a certain amount of surprise.

Steve said that the loss of a parent is a turning point in one's life. There is nothing that can be truer in this life. When we loose one of our parents, our life changes forever. We can never go back to where things were. We can not recapture those earlier and more innocent years, when life seemed like forever and a day and we felt that we would always have our loved ones.

In short, the death of a parent causes us to realize and face point-blank, our own mortality. This is the reality of the experience. Suddenly, life does not seem endless and death no longer feels like a long time away. We realize, in an instant, that our lives have taken a completely different turn and we think of our own journey towards death. It is this facing of our own mortality that is one of the most difficult experiences.

As for depression and one's attempts to balm it with alcohol or other means, this is also a reality that I have often encountered, but is rarely comprehended by others. Depression is still one of the least understood illnesses, but a very real one and a painful one. I have known enough people who suffer from this to realize that the pain is real and the feeling of helplessness even stronger. It is not something that a simple operation or even medication can take away. While some may tell others to "snap out of it" it just isn't that easy. Alcohol or drugs seem to dull the pain that people experience because of the overwhelming feeling of helplessness. It may actually be a temporary relief, but in the long run, only God's grace, the support of friends and loved ones and sometimes a change of life can see one through this situation. Your mother dealt with her pain in the only way she knew how and with the only means that seemed to bring relief. Now, one consolation is that she will be in a place where there is no more depression, sadness, despair or helplessness, but only the everlasting peace that comes from the presence of God.

My own mother was taken suddenly from us. An active and vibrant woman, completely dedicated to Christian charity, church service, the welfare of others and sincerely having the Gospels as her guide, she was one of the holiest people that I or many that were acquainted with her have known. Always refusing to slow down, she felt ill for only a month or so and finally sought medical attention. After she was diagnosed with cancer, it was at a time when it was too late to help. Two weeks later, she went to the Lord, in whom she placed all of her trust. Upon learning of her illness, her only response was "Now is the time that our faith must come into practice for us."

I can offer no more profound advice than those words spoken to me in those painful several weeks, ten years ago. I don't think that even as a priest, I could have thought of something that better embodies what our religion is all about.

My mother's funeral, far from the exasperating event that I anticipated it to be, was one of peace and extreme holiness. The wake and Divine Liturgy were a celebration of who she was as a mother, a wife, a friend, a confidant, a helper and above all, a woman of faith, who would never judge another person but only see Christ in them. That part was a blessed event for me, but the weeks and months and even years that followed were the most difficult that I've experienced to date. Time however, truly does heal many things and God in His own way, grants us the strength we need to continue on.

The relationship between a mother and a son is one that is special like no other. Therefore, it makes the reality of loss all the more difficult. But, in order to make the hurt just a little bit more bearable, and to do justice to the blessedness of a life that has touched us, we must live by the prayer of our church and "make her memory to be eternal." By remembering the good times, the lessons learned and the example given, our loved ones live on forever, not only with the Lord our God, but in a very certain way, here on earth, for those of us who knew and loved them and those who will come to know them through our witness and testimony.

You have my most sincere sympathy and prayers. May God grant her peaceful repose and eternal memory. Vichnaya jiyi pamyat'!

Fr. Joe

[ 07-05-2002: Message edited by: Fr. Joe ]

Father,

Thank you so much for your kind words. It is surely a grace that most of the painful memories seemed to melt away. I remembered her kindnesses when we were younger and the creativity she showed so often.

God bless you for your kindness.

Dan Lauffer

Dear Dan,

May the Most Holy Mother of God, by whose intercession your mother has reached the throne of Her Son, take the place of your mother now.

May She cover you with the Mantle of Her Protection and grant you every wish, just as your mother did throughout her life.

May you always feel the motherly warmth of Her embrace and Her hands on your shoulders as you continue in struggling and joy to live the life in Christ.

Alex

Dear Dan,

Know that my prayers are with you and your Mother. Eternal memory. My aunt Betty died on July 6, but she stated that she believed that her sister, my mother, had appeared to her the last several days before Betty died. It's somewhat comforting to know that there are those waiting for us to help us home. I still miss my mother, some 10 1/2 years later, very much, but I know that she will be with me always. I pray for you too that you'll get through the next few weeks as untroubled as is possible. Vicnaja Pamjat.

Rick

Brother Dan, please be assured of my prayers for your Mom and for your family. I know the pain of losing a parent; it is like no other.

Blessings!

Dear Dan:

God grant eternal memory to your dear departed mother.

She goes onto a world without pain and suffering and only the love and comfort of God.

May God grant us courage and fortidude to continue in our own journey.


Jose

Dear Dan,

May her memory be eternal!

Father, thank you for the beautiful homily.

Rose