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for me - my faith is waning. Most of my life I have lived as a RC because there are no BC churches anywhere I live. After attending this morning's Sunday Mass - I left before Mass was over - just at Eucharist - The final straw that left me wondering what happened to this Holy Church was seeing a young girl - 15'ish come in to Mass wearing short shorts (not walking shorts, hiking shorts, bermuda shorts) and a very short shirt that left her mid section hanging out. I left because I didn't want to know whether she would go to receive Holy Communion dressed like this and the worst part is that she would have been given Communion. The whole service was, I guess just another blow to me - I'm truly struggling with my own faith problems.

I pray that you stay in Church. Help that young girl.Talk to her and pray for her. The devil would like nothing more for you to quit going to Church and believe it is out of righteousness. People all over the world go to Holy Communion and are persecuted for it. Don't walk away from receiving our Lord except for when it is for your own sin. I know it's difficult and painful to watch these things happen in Church. I pray you persevere. Let us know how it goes next Sunday.

Nicky's Baba

Dear Sue,

I'm sure you have heard the phrase "The Church is not a hotel for Saints, but a hospital for sinners."

Church is not a hotel for Saints, but they are always among us when we are there. There is never an empty seat in the place.

From the Prophets to the Apostles to the Martyrs of the gulag, they are all there. Each will always willingly give up their seat to a visiting sinner, yet they all remain with us.

Nicky's Baba is right that this girl needs prayers and guidance. I can't say it better.

Dear Sue,

Please don't be judgemental about the girl. While I understand your dismay, I also have a teenage girl, and in their world, they often dress like this. No matter how much you tell them that the current styles could be considered provocative, they just don't get it! Weren't we all that age at one time though? Didn't many of us make the same bad judgement calls? Why even those who wore uniforms in parochial schools in the 70's often laugh reminscing about how ALL of us roled those skirts up as high as we could, and how we often got in deep trouble for it! What they shouldn't do, is dress like this in Church, but if others dress casually, they are also dressing casually as they do in their world.

I am not being condemning of the RC church, but in the Orthodox Church, the norm is still to dress up. During the few weekday services, pants are seen, but on older people, usually demurely.

Anyway, I could judge the parents, but they may not have seen her! You would be surprised if we aren't around, how shocked we can get. My daughter once came to church seperately in her own car because she was running a bit late, after my husband and myself had already left, and although she covered her arms, and had a knee length skirt on, her top showed some definite cleavage...I ALMOST died! She heard it from me afterwards, but that couldn't stop what already happened!

However, our wonderful priest in his last sermon, seemed to be a little perturbed with gossip he was hearing about what women were wearing to recieve communion. He said that first of all, we should be so profoundly in prayer and facing the altar in worship, that we should not notice what ANYONE is wearing. Secondly, he said that being prepared for Holy Communion is not so much what you wear, but how much love you have in your heart for your brethren--he adamantly exhorted that this was the most important preparation. He went on to say that we should reach out and talk to someone we had never talked to before. He was a bit angry, and was trying to make a point, and it hit home for everyone that Sunday.

Needless to say, after that 'putting us in our place' sermon, we were all the most loving community we had ever been. The coffee hour was like a little bit of heaven!

Please put your feelings in perspective and realize that these kids who live in the most difficult time EVER, don't need condemnation for their truly alternate universe of MTV and overt sexuality pushed into their face day and night, (even my priest has sadly acknowledged this) but our love and kindness to help bring them into salvation as they mature, and into Christ's universe.

Humbly,
In His Name,
Alice

Alice,
thank you for your wonderful posting.
I too have a teenage daughter and every Sunday morning I have to do a fashion check before we leave the house.

The girl in the above posting, her parents might not have purchased appropriate church clothes for her. Most girls now-a-days, don't even own "church" clothes. And even when you shop for church appropriate attire.... well, you finally find a skirt long enough, but the top....well, too much cleavage.

I sort of look forward to the day when my daughter's attire is totally her own responsibility!
denise

Dear Sue:

Please hang in there!

I pray that God answers your own prayers.

Amado

Everyone else has said it to good, but as I read Peter came to mind. What we see with our eyes is not what Jesus sees in our hearts. I know that is all upsetting, but to me it sounds like you are growing much closer to God. Someone posted somewhere a statement from St. John Chrysostom, that was something like when we are able to judge ourselves in our sin, then our salvation has begun. So that fact that you are struggling with your faith, indicates to me that you are growing stronger and more aware of it. Now back to Peter.

Peter was a mess. Remember St. Peter our first pope was not always right, but he was always there, wherever God called him to be. So God was able to work through him and set him right. He renounced knowing Jesus three times, he spoke out of order at the Transfiguration, he cut off the ear of the servant at the arrest of Jesus, but God recognized his heart and made him the leader of the apostles. Through God apprehending Peter�s heart, the reality of 1 Peter 1:16 prevailed, �You shall be holy, for I am holy,� and resonated within Peter as he stood up on Pentecost through the power of the Holy Spirit and spoke of the power and authority of knowing Christ Jesus. Despite all of Peter�s failures he was deified for that moment in the image and likeness of Jesus Christ.

It is not good that she dressed so recklessly, but she was there.

Sue, be not afraid. I will offer a chaplet of Divine Mercy for you tonight. Think of your attendance at Mass as an opportunity to console Our Lord, Who is so grievously offended.

LatinTrad

When I first started attending our Roman Rite parish, I was a little uncomfortable with some of the things our priest allows. He is a wonderful man, a conservative follower of Vatican II, yet I see him marrying a couple I KNOW is having premarital sex, I see girls dressing as you described, I see quinceaneras being performed even though they are cultural and not sacramental...

At first all this really bothered me about him, and I couldn't figure out why a holy, conservative priest would allow such things. Then I realized that Jesus met sinners "where they were at". He didn't excuse the woman caught in adultery, but neither did He deny her forgiveness. "Go and sin no more," He said. When people were brought to Him for physical healing, He began by forgiving their sins. They didn't ASK Him to forgive their sins! He did it anyway. I think our priest, in his sacerdotal office, is keeping the arms of the Church open to everyone, even those who may not seem to have the proper respect for her. If he is "judgmental" in this day and age, people will leave the Church in a huff and never look back. But as long as the priest's and the Church's arms remain open, the opportunity remains for these people to receive sacramental grace and come to their senses.

What is a quinceanera?

In Christ,
Anthony

Isn't that the fifteenth birthday celebration of the young woman in the Hispanic culture? Someone more versed than I in this can describe it more fully.
CS

Sue,
Know that you're not alone in the sense of what is around you when you attend church becoming overwhelming at times as it can appear as if the secular world invades our churches
in their appearance.
I too would say 'hang in there' and especially know you're not alone - as all of us know this sort of struggle within as one would simply want to pray yet one feels discouraged at what is going on there - but as has been said, God is there, the holy angels and saints and all those of us in spirit who pray here.
CS

May the Lord guide Sue and us all in our self examination when we question our faith and are personally offended by how others practice it.

May He help her and us to see the part that we are in the Body of Christ, the Church. May the Spirit lead her and us to know what effects our decisions have on the health and growth or lack of it in our family the Church.

May He enable us to choose to share life among our brothers and sisters and to choose to help that life become stronger.

It is a hispanic debutante party that takes place at 15 years old. Years ago I read a newspaper in Phoenix - and it was a long time ago so my memory is fuzzy on this - that the local bishop had ordered the parish priests to stop allowing them in the churches, as they are a cultural celebration and not sacramental. He was not opposed to the tradition of a quinceanera, but he did not feel it should be held in a church. Some parish priests were defying the bishop's orders and allowing them anyway.

My understanding is that this tradition began in Mexico's colonial days, when at the age of 15 a girl had to either get married or join a religious order. A quinceanera looks like (and costs as much as!) a wedding sans groom because back then it WAS a wedding; either to a man or to Christ. Obviously nowadays the girl does not have to make the decision for marriage or orders at this age, so it has lost the religious significance it once had. Hence the debate over whether it should take place in a Catholic Church.

Sue, I know how you feel and I will be praying for you.I know how you feel but listen to this old man.I got disgusted like you and left the church and it was the biggest mistake I made.I ended up in a orthodox church but I could never break away from my Catholic roots and the Lord blessed me and lead me back.I didn.t know what I really did till after I did it and left the church.No matter how bad things seem it can be worst some where else.I went through a lot of pain and tears but now that Im back as a Catholic under the Byzantine Rite and I will never,with the grace and help of the Lord and His Blessed mother,leave the church again.We all don't get a second chance like I did.Ask and pray to the Holy Spirit for help.You'll stay in my prayers.Pray for me as I pray for you. Greg