www.byzcath.org Forums General Discussions Town Hall Virus Warning

Neither Symantec, Norton, nor McAfee have solutions as yet!!!

The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.

The John Kerry Virus - Reverses every position in your computer, each time you turn it on.

The Ronald Reagan Virus - Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

The Clinton Virus - Gives you a permanent Hard Drive with NO memory.

The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting.

The Bob Dole (a.k.a. Viagra) Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.

The Michael Jackson Virus - Attacks only minor files.

The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, leaves... but will be back!

The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes.

The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 150 GB.

The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.

The Lorena Bobbitt Virus ! - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy ... then discards it through Windows.

Marya

Dear Marya,

Your post contains some jokes of a sexual nature that are extremely inappropriate. Please edit it if you can. Thanks.

LatinTrad

Hilary Clinton Virus: Deletes files, which mysteriously reappear years later on the dining room table.

John Edwards Virus: locks your computer until you promise to sign over one-third of your life over to him.

And no more jokes about sex, young lady!!! Latin Traditionalists don't like sex. It might make them smile, which would ruin their image.

Byz

And I'm not even young! LOL

Marya

Dear Friends,

Yes, indeed!

I can't believe someone would make jokes about sex on this forum.

It just makes me angry whenever that happens . . .

( )

Alex

Alex, with your sense of humor, the kids at the school where you work are going to love you. You didn't mention the age group you will be working with, but your humor will serve you well.

The Al Gore Virus II: Embeds the following pop up message in all files: "I invented the internet!"

Dear byzanTN,

Actually, they did kind of voted to have me as principal . . .

But I promise to behave at all times!

After my last period of absence from here, I'm a changed fellow . . .

And they are high school kids.

Alex

I find it funny, but I don't understand what's the sexual content anyways.

Myra those were funny. I can't wait to share them. Some were a little off color, but I quickly scanned pass those.

Deacon John wrote:

The Al Gore Virus II: Embeds the following pop up message in all files: "I invented the internet!"

Wooahhhhhh, Wohhaahhh can we send this one to them!

Dear Mexican, some of it about crimes that happened in the US like the one referring to Lorena Bobbitt.
You may be able to search her out on the internet, but don't waste you time.

Pani Rose

Have sent to I.T. types I know!

Around that time, Saturday Night Live did a parody of the ginzu knives commercial that was playing on TV. Of course, they had Lorena chopping things with her ginzu knives and ranting about her husband. It was thoroughly tasteless, but funny.