www.byzcath.org Forums General Discussions Town Hall What are the rules for Priest's wives ?

What are the rules or customs for wives of Priests? For instance, I heard that a priest cannot dance with his wife in public. I also heard that there are certian times that a Priest and His wife should abstain from relations. How many rules are there? Do the Melkites have diferent rules than the Ukrainians or the Ruthenians? Which rules have the force of law verses rules that are just customs? I appologize that I might not be using the correct terminology, please be patient with me.
What is the proper way of addressing a priest's wife?

Well, I THINK I can answer the last question about how you should address a priest's wife. PLease someone correct me!

Russian tradition- Matushka
Melkite or Antiochian- Khouria
Ukrainian tradition- Pani Matka
Greek- Presbytera

The Ukrainains also use the term Pani Dobrodivka.

It is true, if you look at the Domostroi or some of the Old Believer strictures, the priest was not to have relations the night before serving the Divine Liturgy.

This was generally intended for village priests who only offered the Divine Liturgy on Sundays and major feast days. It would be tough if you offered the Liturgy every day to stick to this rule.

This past summer, a friend told me a story:

Once, a priest asked his bishop "Vladyka, is it true that I cannot have 'relations' with my wife the night before serving Liturgy?"

"Yes" said the bishop.

"What are we supposed to do, then?"

The bishop replied, "What do you think afternoons are for?"



-Dave

It's fairly clear from the canons that the rule on sexual abstinence also applies to all unordained laity who are preparing to commune, not just the wives of the major clergy.

In Christ,

I am curious -- you say this is the rule for all Orthodox parishioners? Then for all Byzantine Catholic parishioners as well? I had heard of it only for clergy, not parishioners.
Being 'Latin' or RC, I wasn't told this in my studies of Eastern church life. nor have my Orthodox friends mentioned this.
Second question -- what is the reason?
(addressed to Andrew and anyone else who wants to answer).

Despite wishes to the contrary these prescriptions are no longer in force for Eastern Catholics. And while I am not positive, I doubt they are required by the SCOBA Orthodox jurisdictions.

By Catholic standards, unless a prescription is positively stated in the law it does not have the force of law. The CCEO does not require this and I am unaware of any Eastern Catholic Church's particular law adopting this standard. My own Ruthenian Metropolia has not.

In Christ,
Lance

Hello Lance;

I have a question that seems to fit into the direction that this thread is going. (I'm sorry but it does not refer to Matushkas alone).

Last week my wife and I (a BC deacon) went to dinner with an OCA couple (he was very recently ordained a priest) and a Greek Orthodox couple. The only fundamental difference I could identify had to do with our attitudes toward fasting regulations and the Eucharist. I (we) have the attitude that the fasting regulations are meant to invite one into a closer relationship with God by including the physical into prayer. However, the lack of such "severe" fasting does not preclude one from receiving the Eucharist. One does not "earn" the ability to receive and only serious sin separates one from the opportunity to receive. They were somewhat shocked by this as they felt that a certain amount of reverence was required before one can receive.

They were additionally shocked by the fact that we did not have anyone querying potential communicants as to whether they were "properly disposed" to receive. I informed them that we do not have a policing policy and I was equally shocked by this possibility.

Has anyone else noted such a difference in attitude towards receiving the Eucharist and fasting regulations?

By the way, in my experience, I would never tell the wife of a priest that she was or was not supposed to do something. You would get an earful!

John

Fr. Deacon John,

From personal experience, around Pittsburgh in the OCA and ACROD Churches most people recieve at Sunday Liturgy, whether they all go to confession every week I could not say. Although I have heard the strictness of the OCA can vary from diocese to diocese and parish to parish. In the GOA Churches, on the other hand, most adults just do not receive, so I do not think it is much of an issue. ROCOR is very strict about preparation requiring not only confession and attendance at Vespers, but recitation of the Pre-communion prayers in the Jordanville Prayerbook at home. Plus the priest may prohibit you from communion as part of your penance after confession.

I have noted the different attitude as well. To me it seems some Orthodox do indeed present the issue as if one must earn the right to receive the Holy Gifts. On the otherhand, some in the Catholic Church act as if they are entitled to the Holy Gifts no matter what as long as they haven't kill anyone. I do think the policing thing is a bit much. Ultimately it is between God and the communicant. Confession is not magic. One can go and not be truly repentant. Who knows but God?

In Christ,
Lance

Lance,
I just read your post. The GOA I assume means Greek Orthodox -- but did you make a typo? You wrote "most adults simply don't receive," if I recall correctly. Did you mean "most adults do receive" ? or did you mean that most people don't actually receive, meaning their reception is very infrequent?
I wonder what you meant.

CoS,

Yes, GOA is Greek Orthodox Archdiocese and in my experience their adults receive very infrequently.

In Christ,
Lance

Lance,
You mean, say, a few times a year?
I have some friends who're Greek Orthodox, both 'cradle' and converts. I will have to ask them about this.

CoS,

I usually attend during Julian Pascha and it is from this that I draw my observations. I would think that if one was going to receive it would be at Pascha, but even here most do not receive.

In Christ,
Lance

Lance,

Have you been told by an Orthodox priest that someone who has to eat out of medical necessity (and does so prior to wanting to communicate) is to be refused Holy Communion?

I am told the opposite.

Tony

Tony,

How are you my friend? No, none of the priests I know have said this and I doubt any Orthodox priest around here would. However, I have heard of the policing thing Fr. Deacon John mentioned. Bob Tallick has stated he has seen his priest refuse people for detecting cigarette breath. From my understanding ROCOR makes no exceptions. I guess my point is in the Catholic Church one simply does not have to worry about being grilled about preparation in the Communion line. In the Orthodox Church you may, depending on the jurisdiction, parish or priest.

In Christ,
Lance