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This was forwarded to me overnight. I had seen it before, but the names have been changed to make it more contemporary. Enjoy. In IC XC, Father Anthony+ After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he
doesn't travel light), the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on
the curb.
"Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the driver, "Would you please take your seat
so we can leave?"
"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive at the
Vatican when I was a Cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today."
"I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And
what if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone
to work that morning.
"Who's going to tell? Besides, there might be something extra in it for you,"
says the Pope with a smile.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the
wheel.
The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the
Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph. (Remember, he's a German
Pope.)
"Please slow down, Your Holiness!" pleads the worried driver, but the Pope
keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.
"Oh dear God, I'm gunna lose my license - and my job!" moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the
cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.
"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo
going a hundred and five.
"So bust him," says the Chief.
"I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop.
The Chief exclaimed "All the more reason!"
"No, I mean really important," said the cop with a bit of persistence.
The Chief than asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"
Cop: "Bigger"
Chief: "The Governor?"
Cop "Bigger"
Chief: "The President?"
Cop: "Bigger"
"Well," said the Chief "Who is it?"
Cop: "I think it's God!"
The Chief is even more puzzled and curious "What makes you think it's God?"
Cop: " well . . . "He's got the Pope as a Chauffeur!!!!"
Everyone baptized into Christ should pass progressively through all the stages of Christ's own life, for in baptism he receives the power so to progress, and through the commandments he can discover and learn how to accomplish such progression. - Saint Gregory of Sinai
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Thank you for starting my day with a smile
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Dear Fr. Anthony: Thank God you are on our side! At least, on this one!  This joke is "tricky" but hilarious! (One more argument for the Pope's "job" as "Vicar of Christ?") Amado
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Good one, Fr. Anthony.
Since we are telling chauffer jokes. Here is another old one:
- - - - - - - -
When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks and manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.
"I have an idea, boss," his chauffeur said. "I've heard you give this speech so many times. I'll bet I could give it for you."
Einstein laughed loudly and said, "Why not? Let's do it!"
When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the chauffeur's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The chauffeur gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein's speech and even answered a few questions expertly.
Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody's fool.
Without missing a beat, the chauffeur fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, "Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my chauffeur, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me."
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I laughed hard on that last one. The Pope joke I had already heard. I'll look for another one. Two Ukrainian children were neighbors and lived a mile out of town. These were the days before cars and indoor plumbing. They walked to school together and to church together, but Viktor was Orthodox and Tatiana was Catholic. During Divine Liturgy a huge storm dropped a foot of rain on the land and flooded the local creek which was usually dry at this time of year but now it was 2 feet deep. After the churches let out, the 2 children met up again and talked about the homilies (don't you wish we all did that?  ) and proceeded to walk home. They got to the creek and tried wade through it. Tatiana noticed that the water was too deep and decided to take her clothes off and put them on her head so they wouldn't get wet. Viktor thought this was a good idea and did the same. When they crossed the creek and got out of the water, Tatiana took a look at Viktor while they were putting their clothes back on and said, "There's a bigger difference between Catholics and Orthodox than I thought!" I hope that was clean enough!
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Dear Friends,
No joke, but the U.S. comedian of the "Dick Van Dyke Show" fame, Morley Amsterdam, once met Pope Pius XII.
He asked the Pope, "Your Holiness, out there you were blessing the crowds and I know for a fact there were Catholics, Protestants, Jews - all sorts of people!"
And to this the Pope replied, "What difference does that make? They're all God's children!"
And then Morley said, "I didn't know you were in the wholesale business, Your Holiness!"
The Pope thought about it for a minute and then smiled and even laughed.
It was the only recorded time Pope Pius XII was said to have laughed out loud in public . . .
Believe it or not . . .
Alex
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I am sure you all have heard this one about Pope John XXIII. The jolly Pope had this habit of visiting convents around Rome unannounced. He happened one glorious day to come upon the convent of the Sisters of Christ the King. The receptionist nun immediately caught a glimpse of the bounding Holy Father advancing to the convent's front door so she dialed the Mother Superior's number informing her of the Pope's presence. Mother Superior was out in a jiffy and rushed to meet the Pope greeting him while catching her breath: "Your Holiness, I am THE Superior of Christ! . . .(gasp)!" Pope John XXIII calmly replied: "Good for you, Sister, I am ONLY His Vicar!" Amado
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Sorry, I hope no one read into that joke I posted. It was a difference between boys and girls joke. Not a good one either. :rolleyes: Not something else! :rolleyes:
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Originally posted by Dr. Eric:
Sorry, I hope no one read into that joke I posted. It was a difference between boys and girls joke. Not a good one either. :rolleyes: Not something else! :rolleyes: Tsk Dr Eric It was posted in the right place at the right time - you haven't met us on a Mad Friday yet ......... come to think of it .. we haven't had one for a long time 
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Originally posted by Our Lady's slave of love: Originally posted by Dr. Eric:
[b] Sorry, I hope no one read into that joke I posted. It was a difference between boys and girls joke. Not a good one either. :rolleyes: Not something else! :rolleyes:
It was posted in the right place at the right time - you haven't met us on a Mad Friday yet ......... come to think of it .. we haven't had one for a long time [/b]What's a Mad Friday?
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My assistant thought it was a joke about the difference between Orthodox and Catholic MEN if you get the drift. It wasn't, I heard it as a Bapstist/Catholic joke, that the girl and boy were more different than just their religions. I just don't want to get kicked off the forum 
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what we occasionally had on a Friday - when everyone was thoroughly cheesed off 0 and the humour flowed.
Oh those were the days - a loooooooong time ago
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What time is it over there? A guy in my office told me a "blonde joke" about an hour ago. Two blondes are sitting on a park bench in Oklahoma. The first blonde says to the second, "I wonder which one is further, Florida or the moon?" The second blonde says, "Well, DUH!!! Can you see Florida from here!" Dr. Eric Whose wife is Blonde.
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BANNED active
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For the Ladies...A man calls to his wife, 'Heh, Hun," he calls from the laundry, 'How should I wash my favorite sweatshirt?" . She queiries, "What's it say on the thing', to which he replies, "University of Texas", which sends her to laughing hysterically, "Now THAT'S blonde."
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