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Mahatma Ghandi walked most of the time in bare feet which, over the course of time, produced impressive callouses on the soles of his feet. He also ate very litte and as a result had bad breath. NOW, this created a situation...so he could be called...(read carefully)...... 'A super calloused mystic hexed with halitosis'
(from HAH@Prostatepointers.org)

Two Eskimos were cold so they lit a fire in their kayak..unsurprisingly..it sprang a leak and sank, thereby proving..'you can't have you kayak and heat it too...!

On a roll here, did you here of the Buddhist who refused Novacain for his root canal.?.his goal was, 'transcend dental medication'.

And, the vulture who boarded an airplane, carrying two dead racoons, was stopped by the stewardess, saying, "Sorry, Sir, only one carrion is allowed per person".

Two fish were swimming when they hit concrete, the one turns to the other and says....'DAM'!

A woman gives birth to a set of twins, and being unwed gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Spain...is named 'Juan', and the other to a family in Egypt, and is named 'Ahmal'. Years pass, and Juan finds out, and sends his birth mother a photo. When she receives it, laments to her husband, 'I wish I could have a photo of his borther', to which he replies, "They are twins, if you've seen 'Juan' you've seen 'Ahmal'...!

If you want the rest of the story, listen to Paul.

Since I was one before grey,...'How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb on the ceiling...well, three, of course,...one to hold the bulb, and two to turn the ladder around.

The Priest said something in his Homily on Sunday that gave me pause, "We have read in Scripture that GOD made man in His Own Image,...and man has been ever since trying to return the favor...!
Then, when I got home from Church, I tells the wife about it, and she says, "You know you never listen to anything I say either".

The female black widow spider, eats her mate after intercourse,...'cause she wants to put a stop to the snoring, before it starts...!

Dear Amado,

You screwed up that joke, Big Guy!

The nun said, "I am the Superior of the Holy Spirit" (Order of . . .).

To which the Pope replied, "You are quite lucky! I am only the Vicar of Christ!"

Alex

Dear Mike Ross,

You're hanging out with the wrong internet crowd, Fella!

Mahatma Ghandi was the "Super Calloused FRAGILE Mystic Hexed by Halitosis!"

Am I the only one here who can tell a joke properly?

Alex

Dear Alex:

Sssssh! Quiet!

Your version was with the "Holy Spirit!" I modified mine with "Christ the King" to jibe with Fr. Anthony's lead joke!

Amado :p

There were three country churches in a small Texas town: the Presbyterian church, the Methodist church and the Catholic church.
Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels.
One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
The Methodist group got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creations. So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.
It was only the Catholics who were able to come up with the best and most effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.

Dear Talitha:

That was funny!

And I guess, on the latter, they come for the Easter bunnies?

Amado

Q: How many Episcopalians does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: What?! My grandmother donated that lightbulb!

Q: How many Scots does it take to change a light bulb?

A: 16, one to hold it and 15 to get drunk and make the room spin.

And for one the Northerner(er)s from Canada:

Q: How many United Church members (in Canada) does it take to change a light bulb?

A: How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light style?

Logos Teen

Only in humor, OK?

How many pompous priests does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. He stands on a chair while the world revolves around him.

I know. Sick.

And

How many Orthodox priests does it take to change a light bulb?

Change?! Change?!?

Q: How many Old Believers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: What's a light bulb?

Σώσον, Κύριε, καί διαφύλαξον η�άς από τών Βασιλιάνικων τάξεων!

Don't have any jokes... just wanted to let you know how funny you guys are.

Addendum to Fish Story.

Three fish were swimming in the canal.

One fish hit concrete and floated there, stunned.

The second fish hit concrete and said "DAM".

The third fish didn't hit anything, and swam on through some turbulent water, into a wide area.

The first fish said "How did he do that?"

The third fish yelled back at the other two,

"That wasn't a Dam.

That was an Army Corps of Engineers levee.

When two fish run into it,

it falls over!" :p