www.byzcath.org Forums General Discussions Town Hall Gonzaga or Girlfriend

Dear brothers and sisters:

I was recently accepted to Gonzaga University, but my girlfriend cannot get into that school because her grades are not up to par. I am going through great pains to decide whether to stay with her at the mediocre school that I am currently attending or go to GU and leave her. I really love her, but want to go to a better school. Does anyone have any advice.

Thanks.

In Christ,

Robert

Robert,

I hate to say you have a dilemma that only can be solved by you. My best advice is to pray that the Lord reveals His will for you and your future.

In IC XC,
Father Anthony+

Father bless!

Thank you for your help. I have prayed, but God does not speak to me like He does some. I am really undone about this issue. I hope that some men with experience can give me some of their advice or examples from personal experience.

Again, thank you Father.

In the Theotokos,

Robert

Robert,

I'm not so sure that the choice you identified, "Gonzaga or Girlfriend" represents the only options available to you. Why couldn't it be "Gonzaga and Girlfriend"?

Has your girlfriend considered applying to some of the other colleges in Spokane? Here is a list of other institutions she could consider:

http://spokane.areaconnect.com/city-colleges.htm

Not knowing your age or situation, it is a bit difficult to advise. My only sense is that generally speaking, you should not make educational decisions based on your relationships. Gonzaga has a great reputation as a school and such an opportunity may not come again. My fear is that you could end up artificially limiting your career options for the long term in order to stay close to someone for the short term.

And what happens if you decide eventually to get married to this girl? A stronger degree program will help equip you to support your new family. You will both benefit from your enhanced education and career opportunities.

And of course, although I'm sure you do not want to think about it, what happens if the two of you eventually break off your relationship after you turn down the Gonzaga opportunity? There will always be the regret - "What if..."

If you were married or engaged, of course, it would be a slightly different story. (I'm not recommending that as a course of action, BTW! ) Of course, if you go to Gonzaga, you can always go home for the Summers to see her. If she is the girl you want to marry and the love between you is strong enough, your relationship can survive those brief periods of separation. In fact, the relationship might even be strengthened through the experience. Besides, it sounds as if you already have some time in school under your belt, so the time you would need to be away could be less than 4-years.

My advice would be to go with Gonzaga. As far as your girlfriend is concerned, I cannot advise except to repeat what I said above about making education/career decisions based on romantic interests. Not always a good idea.

And I will say a prayer for you this morning.

My two cents,

Gordo

Thank You! That is great advice. We have thought about marriage, but this chance doesn't come often, and I don't think it will come again.
It is hard to seperate from someone you love for education reasons. The love issue is the hardest thing. When she gets back from Christmas break I will ask her if she could go to a community college in Spokane, while I go to GU. I hope God helps me through this.

Thank you!

In Christ,

Robert

Not to make light of a serious subject, but Gonzaga DOES have that awesome basketball team!

Go Zags!

If you do go to Gonzaga, do you think you could hook me up with some tickets??

In all seriousness, I pray that God gives you wisdom in this major decision.

Nathan

Nathan, you opportunist you!

Robert, three rows up from the midcourt line works well for me...

Go Bulldogs! (that was also the name of my High School team)

Gordo

This is a serious issue and I will join you in prayer.

But darn...I love that cheese!

CDL

Dear Robert,

Agreeing with what Gordo says here I just have to add. In my senior year in high school I was all signed up, accepted, and had applied for a out-of-state tuition scholarship to a secular university in Idaho. Then for reasons that seemed kind of different (they said I didn't qualify on the basis of financial need..which wasn't really true) the secular university turned me down for the scholarship. I think it was because God had other plans.

Shortly after that my English teacher and debate coach asked me to come to his office for a conference. There he asked me where I was headed. I told him my dilemma and how disappointed I was because of not getting the scholarship. He said, "Why don't you go to my Alma Mater...Gonzaga...in Spokane?" and he handed me an application.

To make this already long story short. I decided on Gonzaga and I have never regretted that decision. Actually I earned two and almost three degrees there over a period of twenty five years. There is a philosophy professor who teaches at G.U. right here on our forum, Dr. Michael Tkacz.

And one more thing to share. In 1987 I took a few courses one summer session at G.U. One of them was Byzantine Spirituality taught by the pastor of a local Byzantine (Ruthenian) Catholic Parish. Well, that got me really interested in the East...and here I am still interested and still learning.

If it is meant to be the girlfriend situation will work itself out.

I am praying for you and your girlfriend.

P.S. My daughter picked G.U. also although she had to travel from Alaska to attend. She graduated with a math major. She loved it and now acts as a mentor on that G.U. program. Oh, I forgot to mention that my high school boyfriend went to the secular university in Idaho. We drifted apart and I have now been married to a good Catholic Christian guy for over 40 years. Met him in St. Aloysius Church right next to the G.U. campus) the summer after I graduated. We were attending the ordination of a priest and both of us knowing him got to know each other. We married a year later.

Go,Zags, go. God bless you...from

Mary Jo

If you are not still swayed by that stirring endorsement by our beloved Mary Jo, unbeknown Zag alumna until this time, consider John Stockton, retired Utah Jazz and the best point guard ever of the NBA!

Amado

Amado, how very sweet!! But I do beg to differ a bit because I have mentioned my Gonzaga background three or four times these past few years on the forum. Of course, recipes, baseball, Alaska, and the kitty cats probably took up more posting time.

Bless you.

Mary Jo

Robert, my girlfriend and I were in the same pickle when she was accepted to GU and I wasn't! Try not to fret. There are other options in the area for her aside from the two community colleges. In fact, there's a great state university about 20 miles from Gonzaga! *shameless plug alert*

Check out Eastern Washington University at http://www.ewu.edu . Although the two schools are rivals on the basketball court, we have a great deal of artistic and academic collaboration going on. There are two joint degrees that I know about, and the two music departments often borrow from one another when the need arises (I'm the organist for the Gregorian Schola there, and my girlfriend has played harp at EWU functions). The distance may seem a bit daunting at first, but there's a contract between EWU and the Spokane Transit Authority that allows EWU students to ride the bus to Spokane FOR FREE every day (and night!) of the week.

The free bus rides definitely come in handy where spiritual matters are concerned. EWU has a Newman Center, but we're just starting to recover from a 20 year "reign of heretical terror." A new priest has just been assigned to the city of Cheney and the Newman Center. He's a young, dynamic, and orthodox priest who has a real concern for liturgical matters, but he's facing a lot of opposition here. Fortunately, Gonzaga is a bus ride away.

There's a Mass in the Jesuit House Chapel every Sunday night at 5 that's sung by the Gregorian Schola and one of 3 regular priests: the ordinaries are in Latin (and every once in a while, polyphonic! lol), the orations and readings are in English, and the canon is silent. Not bad for Spokane... The gem of the region, though, is Sts. Cyril and Methodius Byzantine Catholic Church out in the Valley. My girlfriend and I often go to Divine Liturgy in the morning (or Vespers on Saturday night) and Chant Mass at GU in the afternoon. I would be willing to take both of you out there on a weekly basis.

Praying for the both of you,
-Gavin-

Thank all of you! One very good thing about going to GU would that I can attend Divine Liturgy in my own Church. I have been attending St. Michael's Cathedral (OCA) here in Sitka to at least keep the Eastern traditions, albeit Great Russian. How far is the Byzantine Catholic Church in Spokane from GU?

Thanks, again.

Robert

The Church is 15 minutes away by car Here's the parish's contact info: http://www.saints-cyril-and-methodius.org/Contact.htm . The website and Fr. O'Brien's email aren't up-to-date, but the phone number is. lol.

Hi Robert, Not sure of the exact mileage but Sts. Cyril and Methodius is about a 25 minute drive from G.U. As Gavin shared it is located in the Spokane Valley.(on Evergreen St.) You can take the freeway towards Post Falls, Idaho or else Trent Ave. It's not far from the WA-ID border.

Mary Jo