www.byzcath.org Forums Faith & Christian Life Parish Life & Evangelization Where have all the children gone?

I will probably be banned from The Byzantine Forum for this reply, but here is the truth about the missing children. As soon as a boy gets a driver's license or a girl starts to wear a bra, forget about them. They have rebelled, are free to be me, and have stopped going to Church. You are suffering from delusions if you do not agree with me.

When I was a teenager, the balcony used to be open to the public during the Mass. Teenagers would hang out there, smoke weed (marijuana), and make-out. The priest had to close the balcony to stop this behavior. There was no reason to go to Church after that, so we hung out at McDonald's on Sundays.

Over the next ten years later, I had lived with a few girls. Most relationships lasted about six months. I then became really interested in one girl. We lived together for one year, got married, and had a son.

Of course, I had not been to Church for at least 10 years by then except for Christmas.

Why do I tell you this? Because this is the real world and you need to know about it.

After my son was born, I started going back to Church and saw one of my old Jesuit teachers from high school. I told him about my experiences. He said with a big smile that this is normal for every young person; they have to rebel from their parents.

He then went on and said that I was like a fish, and the Holy Spirit had put a hook in my mouth when I was in high school. Like every fish, I finally became tired of running with that line in my mouth, and the fisherman, Jesus, reeled me back to the boat when I got married.

My 20 year old son is going through the same experiences I went through as an adolescent and a young adult. He did tell me that every once in a while he goes to Church on Sunday, although he doesn't know why he bothers to. He is a junior in college, by the way. Sounds like Jesus is starting to reel him in.

So that is where the children are. They are running with a fishing line hooked in their mouth, and Jesus is getting ready to reel them into the boat. Don't worry, Jesus is watching over them.

JP

I want to thank everyone for some wonderful suggestions and providing feedback as to the root of the problems many have observed. Here is a thought. Please let me know if it has any merit.

I wonder if we could have Mother's day and Father's day also co-designated as Family day, in the hopes that we can get the whole family in at least once or twice a year, to remind them and show them the beauty of the Divine Liturgy.

The reason I mention this is usually, I will observe a few extended families attend Divine Liturgy. It could be a great opportunity to evangelize. We could provide the sons and daughters with addresses and phone numbers of parishes close to where they live, if they are not local residents. Maybe the parish priest or deacon could discuss family values during the Homily, including how to honor Mom and Dad by attending Divine Liturgy, and how precious Faith in the One Above truly is, and what a gift It is to share to their children.

In Christ,

Michael

Dear Michael,

I think that this is a wonderful idea. It does not have to have an official designation,, but as in the case of many of our holidays it started as a "grass roots" celebration and moved on from there.

Let us hear of some more ideas on how they might be put into action.

In IC XC,
Father Anthony+

Father Anthony,

I'm not sure, if this is what you had in mind, but I'd like to relate our experience.

Parents are the primary educators of their children. As primary educators, we teach by example, rather than by words. This is certainly true in the area of faith. My wife and I maintain a practice of praying with and blesssing our 6 children (the eldest is not at home, but at the University of Arizona) before bed. During this time of the Great Fast, our eight year old son has taken upon himself to call everyone to evening prayer; he especially likes the Prayer of St Ephrem with prostrations, so I have him lead that prayer. Even our youngest child, a 19th month old son, attempts to sign himself with the Sign of the Cross, and he makes now makes prostrations.

Another constant theme in the home has been the teaching of stewardship, which I have explained is our faith in action and the fitting response of a follower of Christ. This too we teach primarily by example. My children do not have jobs, but many times the older ones will work at a family-owned restaurant. So I have explained to them the practice of tithing (yes a full 10% of the gross). It was a challenge at first, but i used the analogy that by putting that 10% into the collection basket, they are making a personal offering of themselves to God in a manner which moves beyond words.

Stewardship also involves sacrificial giving beyond the 10%, and the sharing of talents and time. Our eldest daughter is a freshman at the University of Arizona in Tucson, and has become involved with the Newman Center as her current spiritual home. This past week was spring break at the U of A. Instead of traveling to some party destination were debauchery reigns, she had asked us if she could travel to Mexico and experience "Springbreak with the Newman Center." After we discussed what this was, we consented and sent her passport. The group from the Newman Center travelled to the border town of Mexicali. Springbreak consisted of daily Mass, then being sent out in groups to various parts of town to help the poor, serving food, instructing children about Lent, etc.

One evening two young men in their teens showed up at the parish. These teens were from one of poor areas of Mexico City and had attempted to cross the border into the US, but were unable to do so. They were now looking to return back home. My daughter talked to the rest of the Newman group, and took up a collection to provide bus fare for two teens.

Saturday last, she returned back to campus, and we all travelled to have lunch with her after Divine Liturgy on Sunday. Over lunch she related the above-mentioned and other events of the week. She explained that this experience allowed her a deeper understanding of stewardship and how it relates to traditional lenten practices.

This is a glimpse of evangelism and stewardship at work in our home.

Father Deacon John,

Thank you very much for that post. That is exactly what I am trying to bring out, educating our youth and then putting it into practice that it becomes meaningful in their Christian life. It also has a way to signify that they are becoming a member of the church by participating in the ministry of it.

Thanks again for your post.

In IC XC,
Father Anthony+

John Patrick,

I guess most of our teens are not teens at all. Maybe we'd better tell them that it is normal to rebel against the Church when they become teens. But if we do they might rebel and remain. Maybe you'd better help my poor deluded sons as well.

Better yet, tell your Jesuit friend that he is delusional. There are in fact many devout teens in the world.

CDL

One thought came to mind, especially after reviewing Father Deacon John's mind, is how we are engaging our youth in regards to Church fellowship groups.

Many times I hear from those that are adults that experiences in youth activities have changed their lives by making he faith for them real. It gave them an example of putting faith into action, thus having them make a committment to their faith and Church. These experiences are life changing and worth the effort.

What are doing to foster these types of groups either as volunteers or in our parishes?

In IC XC,
Father Anthony+

The posts concerning minor orders have been split off into a thread under the topic "Minor Orders" in the East and West Forum. Posts concerning that area should be posted on that thread.

In IC XC,
Father Anthony+
Moderator

An oldy but goody! Thanks for all the thought given to these posts.

Pani Rose

Deacon John, thanks for your post! Your account of family life resonates with me. I also have taken pride in the simple faith of my children.My son actually came and asked for his father's coat to shelter the homeless.He happily took his Dad's leather jacket and gave it to a man outside our church. For a youngster this would be something but for a teenager, who is appreciative of material goods, this was impressive!

In peace,

AMEN!

At the end of Divine Liturgy for the Presentation in the Temple. I had given our grandbaby his sippy cup. Fr. came out with the blessed bread which is received after veneration of the Cross, but sat it on the pew while he was blessing memorial bread form someone. My husband was not strong enough to serve that night, so he sat beside me. As soon as our grandbaby saw them sit the bowl down(excuse me for not using correct terminology), Marley through his cup at his grandpap and dove over the pew after the bread. He was so fast, I was just barely able to catch him, he is a year old. The child knows! It shows his parents are teaching him at home.

Fr. came out of the Royal Doors the other day during Divine Liturgy, and all the sudden Marley sticks his arm up, points and hollers as loud as a little one year old can talk - ABOUNA!

He will have nothing do now when he enters the Church, but you let him walk up to the Royal Doors so he can kiss the icon of the Theotokos in the Annunciation. I think he really likes it becasue it is his eye level. But yet you see this small child trying on his own to make the sign of the cross.

That is what the Domestic Church is all about. Sharing your faith at home with your children. Scripture says raise them up in the way they are to go and when they are old they will not depart from it. They may get sidetracked for a while, but they will COME HOME!

God bless our homes and families! That our children will embrace the Faith and remain faithful,we trust in the
Theotokos who knows a mother's love!

I have a cute story....(always remembering, 'but by the grace of God, go I')....

After my son graduated from college, he, his sister and a few very close friends went out to a Greek restaurant in NYC to celebrate. My daughter had not finished her meal, so she asked that they wrap it up for her to take home.

As they left the restaurant, she noticed a homeless man sitting on the sidewalk. She asked him if he would like her food. He responded, "well..sure...but not if it is sushi, because somebody gave me sushi yesterday, and I didn't like it at all!" She responded, "don't worry, you will definitely like this food because it is Greek, and Greek food is really good!"

He accepted it, and hopefully he agreed with her!

May God bless that man, wherever he is.

In Christ,
Alice

I think my thought there is dignity. That even in their genoristy, the homeless person realizes he has dignity. I think that is something that is so often forgotten. Archbisop Raya spoke often and loudly about the dignity of the individual.

Yesterday I came of of the grocery store. Two young men were asking for money. I told them that I couldn't give them money because they would only buy alcohol and asked if they would like apples instead. They accepted and as I loaded my car we talked about Christ. At one point in the conversation I encouraged them to pray using words like this, " The Lord hears the cries of the poor." The demeanor of one instantaneously changed. He was offended. I quickly realized the problem. " No, I dont't mean poor.I mean poor in spirit. The Lord hears the cries of the broken-hearted." Amazingly he smiled. Calling him poor was offensive to his dignity. Recognizing he was brokenhearted was love.

in peace,