www.byzcath.org Forums Faith & Christian Life Parish Life & Evangelization ByzanTEEN The 10 Commandments of Dating

These were listed on another forum, so I thought you all might like them...

There's a book that I would recommend to everyone on this site: The 10 Commandments of Dating, by Ben Young and Sam Adams. I will list the major points of the book:

1.) Thou Shalt Get a Life. You cannot have a relationhip with someone until your own life is in order.

2.) Thou Shalt Use Your Brain. Don't let hormones and emotional attachment take over your common sense.

3.) Thou Shalt Be Equally Yoked. You and your partner must be equally yoked in physical, spiritual, and social matters if a relationship is going to work.

4.) That Shalt Take it Slow. It will probably cause some inconvenience, but most bad decisions are correctable, with the negative consequences eventually disappearing. However, if you marry the wrong person, there will be significant negative consequences that will last for the rest of your life.

5.) Thou Shalt Set Clear Boundaries. If you don't, you'll be sorry.

6.) Thou Shalt Save Sex For Later. If you opt for immediate gratification, there will be lasting pain and guilt in the long run.

7.) Thou shalt Not Play House. Cohabitation means enjoying the benefits of marriage without having any of the responsibilities that go along with it. The Houston Chronicle did a study, and couples who live together before marriage are 80% more likely to get divorced.

8.) Thou Shalt Fight Fairly. Handling disagreements constructively is one of the keys to making a relationship work. Read the book to find out how.

9.) Thou Shalt Not Ignore Warning Signs. If you see a red flag, heed it. Don't say, "maybe things will change later." They won't.

10.) Thou Shalt Choose Wisely. Now, apply all of the advice, choose wisely, and find the right person.

someone asked on their what was meant by 'equal yoking', here is the explanation...Here's an excerpt from their book, page 48: "Not only must you connect on the spiritual level, but you also must connect with your partner on the physical level...Having a spiritual connection is not enough. You must have that spark, that chemistry, that attraction that draws you to that person like a magnet."
The 10 Commandments of Dating [amazon.com] I found these at The 10 Commandments of Dating [forums.catholic.com]

I agree with all of them except for number 3, and I agree in part with number 3. I agree about being equally yoked spiritually, but I'm not so sure about "physically" and "socially." I think that things are easier if you are similar with respect to socio-economic background and I also think that if one partner is considered very attractive physically while the other considerably less so that there is potential for trouble. However, I think it is wrong to insist that differences such as these present obstacles that are impossible to overcome. I also think it denies the power of the Gospel and of our baptisms (we are all united to Christ-and therefore to each other).
Sincerely,
Ryan

I don't think that's denying it, but rather impressing the value of the physical, which most people seem to devalue since it seems so shallow. If the person smells like raw meat all the time, do you want to be sleeping with them? I know I wouldn't, I'd like to keep my smelling organs intact, thank you very much. Also if the person doesn't look very nice, you honestly have to ask yourself if you could wake up to their face everyday for the rest of your life. Such things can lead to strain, etc. Make sense?

This is a great started but unfortunately love isn't that easy. I liked one through nine but I don't think 10 is that easy. How do you know that it is the right choice? Just because you follow all the rules doesn't mean that you won't get hurt. You can do everything right and follow every rule and regulation and still not know if in the end you have made the right choice.

-katie g

The question isn't if you're going to get hurt. You are. The other person WILL hurt you, and you will do just as bad, if not worse, to them. The question is, are they worth the hurt?

lol that is really clever