Bless, Father Steele!
Thank you for your sensitivity and, truth be told, I no longer regularly post on the Forum due to what I know to be my intemperate nature (old age, onslaught of diabetes, Ukrainian character - you choose! ;)).
Historically, and in contemporary times, I think we Catholics have not been as sympathetic to the Orthodox (and the "Orthodox in communion with Rome" - too old style Greek Catholic for that myself) as we should be.
It is perhaps a telling insight into our Catholic tendency toward a "spiritual rationalism" when we look at the differences between Catholics and Orthodox and try to reduce their significance in various ways.
It makes for fun intellectual calisthenics and then leads some of us to say to Orthodox, "Oh come on now, guys - things aren't as bad as all that!"
You and I don't believe they are. When Pope Paul VI once commented that when it comes to Catholics and Orthodox "unity is almost complete" - that was completely rejected by Orthodox and by Fr. Prof. John Meyendorff at the time.
We might ponder how, since Vatican II and all the talk about "separated brethren" and others who "in a number known only to God" can attain salvation etc., we have sometimes played down the theological significance of what others see as vitally important to church unity.
I have in my possession a published PhD dissertation by a Catholic priest who specializes in Reformation theology ("Luther Right or Wrong?" - I would bend down here to get his name off my shelf, but I currently have a needle in my arm that would make even that little exercise quite uncomfortable).
One of his conclusions is that the difference on the subject of justification, depending on how one sees it, is not sufficient to justify the separation of churches. So, from his perspective, one may have a difference and yet it is not sufficient to justify separation.
Our poster Todd (Apotheoun) is someone I really and truly admire. I too find it difficult to understand his overall position, but that doesn't take away my admiration for him and his scholarship.
He brings to the fore the apparent "contradictions" inherent in our current EC position (that is generally that of most of our hierarchy, priests etc.) with respect to being as Eastern as possible but also in communion with Rome.
And Rome affirms that that is precisely our EC calling - to do and be just that.
However, when someone like Todd actually takes that seriously . . . well, now you know the rest of the story.
What does that really mean for us EC's? Those EC's who reject the Filioque do so for more than "Eastern liturgical aesthetic" reasons. There is a theology in which the Filioque is imbedded that is also being rejected, whether we EC's and RC's like to admit it or not.
Although St John Damascus is a saint for all, he himself rejected the Filioque in his "De Fide Orthodoxa" as you know much better than I. And St Thomas Aquinas took the Damascene to task for that in his explication of the Filioque - as you know as well.
From an "ecumenical" point of view, would it be so bad if both Catholics and Orthodox agree to disagree on the Filioque and leave it as a theological opinion for the West (and out of the common Creed)?
Is the Filioque heretical? From the standpoint of Byzantine theology - well, yes.
We EC's can massage it all we like, even going so far as saying the phrase "Through the Son" means the "same thing" as Aquinas himself affirmed.
In fact, Aquinas misread the intent of the Orthodox East on this matter and so did the participants at Florence when they approved a union based on that flawed misunderstanding.
For the East, "through the Son" refers only to the temporal sending of the Holy Spirit into the world. In fact, from the point of view of the temporal mission alone, the Orthodox readily agree that the Holy Spirit proceeds "from the Father and from the Son!" (This is the so-called "Orthodox Filioque").
Why can't we leave it at that and count our blessings of the unity we already share?
If the Orthodox are strident toward us, is it not because we have provoked them into being this way? I'm asking, not telling.
I would suggest that if we feel frustrated at this, it is PERHAPS because we Catholics have come to treat our standard of orthodoxy as THE standard. I know I have.
I've no doubt that both Catholics and Orthodox are right. I've no doubt that we can both agree on a core of faith that we once shared and leave the rest to theological opinion.
Theological opinion is fun, after all, wouldn't you say?

We can have endless conversations about our views without ever having to be called "heretics" for so doing.

(I've a tremendous love for your Order, Reverend Father and love your Order's habit and mission.)
Kissing your right hand, I again implore your blessing, Reverend Father,
Your servant,
Alex