www.byzcath.org Forums General Discussions Town Hall "Difficult" supervisor

Point taken, thank you.

Jkay,

another piece of advice that might help . . .

I have found that posing challenges as questions helps a great deal with supervisors who are difficult - with wording that implicitly states that the supervisor is right, but that you would like to understand why. I'm not advocating being false, but wording your statements from a standpoint that your supervisor (which as you are an intern is a sort of teacher) is correct, you just don't understand why.

I've used this method successfully, both when I really didn't know, and when I knew I was right and that they were incorrect. In the former case, it allowed me to learn something, in the latter it was a teaching moment via the Socratic method for my boss. I did have to ask tons of questions sometimes before the boss got it however.

Not knowing what you do Jkay, one other thing I'd suggest is if their error can get you into trouble (which is different from being uncomfortable or wasting time), get their answer in writing if you can (like say email) and then getting them to do it in front of you. Example, I'm a computational physicist - In my field when a mentor/professor tells a postdoc/student to do something, the worst case scenario is usually wasting time. An experimentalist however might end up damaging equipment, or hurting themselves or others - so in cases where bigger things could happen, getting the boss to write it out for you, and then show you is good practice when it doesn't make sense or seems unsafe or silly.

If it ever comes to safety, ethics and such there is usually a third party at most institutions who helps out with compliance to those rules. If you feel things are unsafe or unethical (especially when it could hurt other people) they are who to talk to as they can give field specific advice. Having instructions in writing always makes this conversation easier.

Lastly is your supervisor a professor/academic?

Justin

I'm retired now, but when I was working I encountered many obnoxious supervisors over the years. I had found that I could not control their actions and was only able to work on my own peace of mind which made the situations I was encountering tolerable.

Being concerned with your wellbeing, this is my little two cents worth of advice - this is what I did: I would imagine in my mind the supervisor in the most rediculous appearance as possible. Example: Looking like a clown with a big red nose, a skinny bird on his head, three foot salami sandwich in his hand, pants on backwards, sandals with orange painted toe nails, and when he spoke he would have a sqeakey high studdering voice, etc. etc. etc. The more detail the better. Well now, whenever he would get under my skin I would pull up this image in my head and I immediately would feel free of his threatening attitude. I was able to calmly continue my work with a smile and a clearly positive attitude. I shared this little trick with a dear friend of mine who was also having a problem with the same supervisor and she said it completely solved her problem too. So goofy as it seems, perhaps you can give it a try too.

Our thoughts of each other may function as a silent prayer for good or bad. I remember reading of one who faced a difficult supervisor and always anticipated problems which did come to pass. Then she said she was going to meditate in positive prayer for this supervisor when going to work. She consciously brought up in her mind the thought that her relationship with him WOULD be healed with God's grace and that he would be nice to her. The first day she did that, sure enough the supervisor was cordial to her. It just got better. This might be a method to try. And God will answer in due time. May God bless you and your supervisor!!

-Pustinik
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"Acquire a peaceful spirit, and thousands around you will be saved." �St. Serafim of Sarov

Welcome to the 'rest of your life' !

I have included the name of a book which is easy to read and should provide you with a good idea of what supervisors are looking for in their new hires. As a Christian, you will find it easy to relate to. I'm sure you can order it on Amazon.com :

169 ways to score points with your boss
By Alan R. Schonberg

Remeber, someday you to will be a supervisor and this advice will also help you evaluate your employees behaviour.

I.F.

C/IABA ICYCY XPI/ICTY !

Is what�s good in the secular world good in the liturgical world?