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Dec 29th, 2019
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,346 Likes: 1
Jessup B.C. Deacon Member
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Jessup B.C. Deacon Member
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,346 Likes: 1 |
 We, in Ireland , can't figure out why people are even bothering to hold an election in the United States . On one side, you have a woman who is a lawyer, married to a lawyer, running against a lawyer who is married to a woman who is a lawyer. On the other side, you have a war hero married to a good looking woman who owns a beer distributorship. What are you lads thinking over there?'
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 5,724 Likes: 2
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 5,724 Likes: 2 |
Let's hear it for drunken lawyers! 
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 4,268
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Let's sue them, bastards!  Amado (Not drunk . . . yet!)
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 5,724 Likes: 2
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 5,724 Likes: 2 |
Like the old Christmas carol parody says,
"Good Christian men of zest,
Sue someone you detest..."
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 473
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 473 |
Question: What's the difference between a squashed lawyer on a highway and a squashed chimpmunk on a highway ?
Answer: There are skid marks in front of the chimpmunk ?
I.F.
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 5,724 Likes: 2
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Joined: Jun 2002
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LOL.
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 641
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Thanks for giving us the cleaned up version with "woman" substiuted for the b-word in the first part of the joke!
As this lawyer heads out into the street, she will be careful of cars!
Actually, a bicyclist locally was hit by car. He wasn't doing anything wrong. He was in a designated crossing, and the traffic each way had stopped. But some impatient guy pulled around a stopped car and rammed him. Fortunately, no serious injury.
Since I am also a bicyclist, I fear the double whammy of cycling lawyerdom!
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,036 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2007
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I'm a cycling lawyer, too. OK, I'm in need of a new bicycle, and it would now be a 15 mile one-way commute in the desert, but I went without a car for 11 years (my wife had one, and I kept a limping one a couple of months after an ankle injury). Anyway, I haven't been hit by a car while on a bicycle for about four years now! And that time, it did more damage to the car than the bicycle  (I was able to leap off in time). hawk
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Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 7,337 Likes: 96
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Moderator Member
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 7,337 Likes: 96 |
Question: What's the difference between a squashed lawyer on a highway and a squashed chimpmunk on a highway ?
Answer: There are skid marks in front of the chimpmunk ?
I.F. A truck driver was driving his semi along a highway and came opon a priest hitchhiking. He stopped and picked up the priest. Several miles along he came on a lawyer hitchhiking and thought he'd swerve to run over him, but at the last minute swung away because he remembered he had the priest in the cab with him. He said to the priest, "Father, I'm sorry I had this terrible urge to run over that lawyer but at the last minute I thought to spare him." "That's all right, my son," said the priest. "I got him with the door."
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 5,724 Likes: 2
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HAHAHA! LOL!
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 4,678 Likes: 1
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Joined: Aug 2002
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"Question: What's the difference between a squashed lawyer on a highway and a squashed chimpmunk on a highway ?
Answer: There are skid marks in front of the chimpmunk ?
I.F."
Jean, I've heard that one two - except it was black people and deer instead of lawyers or chipmunks.
See? Now if I made that joke then people would be all up in arms, but somehow it is OK to stereotype and to generalize about lawyers? Jokes like that really aren't okay...
Alexis
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,564 Likes: 1
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Joined: Jun 2006
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Jokes like that are funnier when told by a member of the group which is being - ah, mocked. So here goes:
What is the difference between a terrorist and a liturgiologist?
With a terrorist, it is sometimes possible to negotiate.
Fr. Serge
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Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 7,337 Likes: 96
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Moderator Member
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 7,337 Likes: 96 |
Father Serge:
Father bless!!
Sadly it is the sober truth!!
BOB
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 179
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 179 |
There are actually other choices in this election, I respectfully implore people to give them the utmost consideration for the future of the Republic.
In particular, I'd like to recommend the presidential ticket of Chuck Baldiwn/Darrell Castle of the Constitution Party.
Best to all,
Robster
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