www.byzcath.org Forums Faith & Christian Life Prayer Prayer for an upcoming Confession

Dear brother and sisters,

I regret to say that I lost a battle with my addiction yesterday and I fell backwards. This time was different though. I am happy (oddly) that immediately after the high passed I was overcome with shame and regret. This helps me to believe that God is at work in me.

That doesn't, though, make the feeling any better. I felt very sorry and bitter yesterday as carried the weight of my guilt. What bothers me most is that I had been making incredible progress, but yesterday I chose to submit to the temptation. Still this falling was different.

I feel like this time, there is no difficulty in getting back on my feet. I made a mistake yesterday, I failed and died. But unlike before, now I feel hope. I have hope and the assurance that come Saturday when I confess my sins, I will be able to stand again and start over. I don't doubt God's Mercy, but I do doubt my own "ability" to receive His mercy. In the end though, I am sorry for what I have done, although, I can't say the submission was not enjoyable. I am firmly committed to amending my life, although I doubt my dedication.

Hmm, perhaps it is time to stop doubting myself, and instead to trust in the power of my Lover's work in me.

I write this post primarily to ask for a specific prayer intention: Please pray, my brethren in the Faith, that I may be truly sorry and repentant, and that I may make a good confession and be healed.

I am so thankful for your prayers.



Peace be unto you!

-Antonius Ioannes

Antonius,

Our Lord has given you a grace. There is no reason for despair, but you can approach Him with a confident, filial love.

To paraphrase Betsy Ten Boon, whatever the depth of your addiction, God is deeper still.

Prayers, my brother.

Fr. Deacon Daniel

Prayers for you. Don't forget that we are all "works in progress," and none of us are finished yet.

Prayers for Antonius' intentions

Remember that the just man falls seven times a day. And it is precisely when we think we are making progress that the additional temptation comes along that it is us who is doing it rather than the Lord working in and through us. When He backs off as we become a bit prideful of our own progress, that's when we take a tumble.

Keep in mind the verse in Lamentations, Chapter 3: "The favors of the Lord are not exhausted, his mercies are not spent;" His infinite mercy is part of His Person. Mercy for us is a Person--Our Lord and God and Savior, Jesus Christ. He sweat blood in the Garden for you; He carried the Cross for you; He poured Himself out completely and without reservation for you. He made available His Church and the wonderful gift of healing and reconciliation--confession--for you. His is the gift sublime because it is true gift--it cannot be earned, merited, or returned in kind. And even our feeble thanks is all He asks in return, no matter how poor or small it may be.

Hold your head up. He came here for you. And He's coming back for you some day, too.

Lord, lift up your servant. He has fallen and been wounded. The leprosy of sin that wounds us all has again come out on him. As You healed the many lepers, the symbol of what sin does to all of us, so heal him. Give him back the joy of Your salvation and establish him again with Your Holy Spirit that he may rejoice in Your mercy and walk again with those You have called. AMEN.

BOB

My prayers too and pray for me a sinner too.

Dear brethren,

Well, I just came back from confession, and I feel lousy. Prior to the confession I agonized over whether I was even sorry for my sins. I couldn't find and answer, and I am still looking for one.

Here is what I concluded prior to confession:

1. I wanted God's forgiveness.

2. I knew I had committed mortal sin and I was prepared to confess it all.

3. I was more than willing to start over and live to my utmost for Christ.

BUT, I wasn't sure if I had "sorrow for the sin committed." To be honest, I don't know if I even know what this means. I mean, the Catholic Church teaches that we must be sorry for our sins if the sacrament of Confession is to be valid. How do I know if I am sorry for my sins?

As far as I can tell, I made a good confession. I didn't knowingly hide anything. However I am not sure if I am sorry or not.

I eventually concluded that I was sorry that I had committed the sins that I committed because (please try to follow me here) I was now having doubts about whether I was sorry. Thus, I was sorry for the sins because after committing the sins I doubted whether I was sorry. (Get that?).

My pastor gave me absolution and I did my penance, and I am resolved to live for Christ as I have never done before (very, very hard). But I still doubt whether I was sorry for my sins....and thus, whether I made a valid sacramental confession or not.

Grrrr, I hate it when I get tied up in knots like this. I have spoken to God about it but the best way I can explain how I am feeling right now is like I am being choked by doubt.

I figure there are two possibilities:

A. I was not sorry for my sins and made an invalid confession and the frantic, strangled state I am in is caused by still having guilt on my soul

OR

B. I was sorry (whether I "felt" sorry or not), and made a valid confession and was healed, but the Evil One is stealing the joy of this truth from me through a weapon of doubt.

Now, I can tell you that if I was sure that the answer was A, then I would be begging the priest to hear my confession again. But as of now, I am not "sure" of either proposition.

In the end, I kinda feel like spurning the Roman Catholic Church's whole "technicality" thing (us silly Latins...) with regard to valid or invalid confessions and just clinging to the Bible verse that says:

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will cleanse us of all unrighteousness."

Sounds simple doesn't it?


I really feel alone. I feel as though someone is going to tell me that "Well, only you can know if you are truly sorry." Malarky! I have no clue right now!


-Antonius Ioannes

Two Scriptures come to mind:

John 10:10
7
5 So Jesus said again, "Amen, amen, I say to you, I am the gate for the sheep.
8
6 All who came [before me] are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them.
9
I am the gate. Whoever enters through me will be saved, and will come in and go out and find pasture.
10
A thief comes only to steal and slaughter and destroy; I came so that they might have life and have it more abundantly.
11
I am the good shepherd. A good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.

Luke 19:
9
2 And Jesus said to him, "Today salvation has come to this house because this man too is a descendant of Abraham.
10
3 For the Son of Man has come to seek and to save what was lost."


I would say to your brother REJOICE for the kingdom of God is at hand. The theif comes quickly to try to steal the graces received at Confession through the hands and words of absolution given by the your priest. Telling you that you are not worthy, that you are not truly sorry. REPENT, KNOWING that our Lord loves you, and he will bring you to fruition/deliverence/completion.

Seek Him in all things and HE will restore the years that the locust have eaten.

God bless you!
Pani Rose

Knightwolf:

I sent you a long pm. Please don't beat yourself up. We all fall short of true and perfect contrition, but the fact that we've made the effortis what the Lord is looking for. He blesses the struggle for the most part because we are human, damaged and broken, and He came here for the wounded, damaged, and broken, not for the righteous.

In Christ,

BOB

Antonius,

Perhaps your problem is related to the word "sorrow," which should not be understood as an emotion in this case. Emotions are simply too unreliable to have much value theologically. Sorrow for sin as a prerequisite for God's forgiveness should be understood simply as an acknowledgment of the wrongness of one's actions.

There are also some synonyms for sorrow that might be useful to reflect on. One such word is "repentance," which has the meaning of turning away from what is evil and towards what is good; another is "contrition," which is taken from a Latin word meaning "brokenness."

I would also add that one of the Evil One's favorite tricks is stealing a person's joy (he hates joy in any form) with the weapon of doubt.


Peace,
Deacon Richard