Dear Alicia,
I did a google search and came up with this response by an Orthodox priest to a different question--though it does include the answers to your questions:
This is why Christ forbids divorce, saying: "What God has joined together, let not man put asunder" (Matt. 19:1-9; Mark 10:2-12). In the Orthodox understanding "divorce" is not a legal procedure, but that "putting asunder" of the relationship, a reality which the legal process merely recognizes. In this sense a husband or wife begins "divorce proceedings" whenever he or she does something to undermine their union in love, whether through infidelity, lying, refusing to listen, or just holding a grudge. Without repentance and reconciliation these fissures will expand into insurmountable breaches, and the spouses will go their separate ways. At this stage the Church with sorrow recognizes that the marriage has failed and that God's creation has been dissolved. It reluctantly accepts this reality, calling the two broken people to repentance. Divorced persons must confess and be absolved before being readmitted to the sacraments of the Church, and they are often given a penance as spiritual medicine.
Remarriage is offered only as a condescension to human weakness. In Orthodox teaching, this is true not only for divorcees but also for widows and widowers. God's perfect will is that men and women marry only once, creating a spiritual bond that cannot be dissolved even by death. Remarriage is therefore always in some degree a departure from the will of God—a sin. It may be a very great sin, as when a man divorces his wife to marry his mistress; it may be a very understandable result of human weakness, as when a young widow remarries for companionship and help in raising her children. In either case, the bishop may allow a second marriage and, rarely, a third marriage (but never a fourth) as the lesser of evils, in order to preserve members of his flock from a greater falling away from God. This should be done prayerfully, in hope that God in His mercy will bring good from this leniency.
The Orthodox service of a second marriage is penitential in character. It includes prayers that ask God to forgive our sin, to meet us in our weakness and help us in the path of repentance. Christians should approach remarriage being humbly mindful of their weakness, and truly desiring God's grace and a second chance. If they do so and persevere in their desire to be close to God, then I think we can be confident that God will mercifully fill their new marriage with His grace and continue to lead them on the path of repentance toward His promised salvation.
My humble suggestion to you is that you not take this to mean more than it intends--and that you not dwell on it. I pray to St. Xenia of Petersburg that she will find you someone to help you raise your boys and be a loving companion...
One of the miracles we know of her lifetime is that she commanded a friend of hers to go to a certain place quickly--her friends knew that her eccentric holiness was not to be questioned, so her friend did as St. Xenia said. At that place there was a funeral procession, so, as custom had it, her mother (who was accompanying her) and she, found themselves joining it.
At the gravesite they saw a young grieving doctor, the husband of the deceased. Their kind hearts felt great sympathy for him and they were compelled to try to console him. The widower was so touched by their spiritual generosity that eventually he married the girl.
This compassion and concern which the holy St. Xenia had for her unmarried friend and for the widower has made her a patron saint for finding a spouse. Her action blessed the remarriage of the widower, so you see that this is not something which the church actually frowns upon.
I hope this helped...
Your sister in Christ,
Alice
