www.byzcath.org Forums Faith & Christian Life Parish Life & Evangelization The Customs of Greeting: Making Visitors Welcome

How to greet visitors and make them feel welcome? Don't start off by this following example:

Parish member: Hi! My name is Phil, what village are you people from?
Visitor: Village? What?
Parish member: You know the village your family is from in the Old Country.
Visitor: this can have two choose your adventure answers
A) Oh, my grandparents are from Snina
B) My family is from Canada and Argentia
At this point the visitor may shrug it off as just an awkward way of breaking the ice (which is what it really is I think) or they may become offended.
There isn't anything with being proud of being whatever ethnic group you may be but there are better ways to break the ice with visitors.

My Ruthenian BCC parish and one I have visited about three times when I was traveling in another state are both very welcoming. The out of state one: the priest embarrasses the visitors by calling out loudly after his homily for all visitors to raise their hands and say their name and where they are from (I hate being put in the spotlight so I could do without that). I was always approached by people there and welcomed, and this was done when I was a newcomer to my current parish. It took me all of one week or two to feel recognized by name and to be part of the parish family. This happened at two local OCA churches I attend on occasion also.

I haven't attended other Ruthenian or other Eastern Catholic churches but I am surprised to hear that there are those that are perceived as unfriendly. As a Latin up until about seven years ago I thought it must be normal that no one ever greeted anyone he didn't already know and for people to walk briskly to get to their cars asap after or before the liturgy ended to get out of the parking lot before it got too crowded. I am now used to spending an hour or two in the social hall for 'coffee hour' (we don't call it that but that's what it is) after every Sunday liturgy. I think people have to realize that 1) some people aren't very friendly 2) some people (many) tend to be shy around new people (like me) 3) some people are preoccupied with problems, job issues, sick relatives, etc. I have a terrible cold today and also probably wouldn't greet people in the way they might expect. I also think that people /sometimes/ mirror what they sense is coming from the other person (shyness, reserve, unfriendliness, hesitation, being uncomfortable, etc.).

-Ruthenian

Ours does that. It also gives Father a chance to prod them to stay for coffee . . .


My father took me to the aptly named "Blood Alley" the night I learned to drive. I've driven in New York, Boston, and Chicago. I live in Las Vegas with its bad drivers from throughout the country.

None of these scare me behind the wheel. The only place that I'm scared to drive is a Roman Catholic parking lot after Mass . . .



hawk

As a Latin up until about seven years ago I thought it must be normal that no one ever greeted anyone he didn't already know and for people to walk briskly to get to their cars asap after or before the liturgy ended to get out of the parking lot before it got too crowded.
****************
There should be signs at those parishes in the parking lot:

"Thou shalt not burn rubber!"

I think welcoming someone to your church bears some insight into reading the particular individual. Some folks just like to observe and be left alone at first, others may feel offended if the red carpet isn't rolled out for them. I think it is certainly appreciated by anyone, of having a kind welcoming by parishoners, but on the other hand the visitor may not relish being the focal point of everyone in the church. For someone more introverted, it might be enough to scare them off if they are at first just checking things out.

I personally would prefer the initial offer of someone to help me follow the litugical process but I think I would feel uncomfortable if too big of a celebration was made of my visit. I think a second visit where a person came back would be an opportuity for "intensifying" the welcome, since by a return visit the person has obviously expressed interest.

So back again----- Many have various ideas, and many are great and some off base. Each church has their own idea what works for them. Put together a checklist, and work on it in this thread, and maybe we can come up with something that will give an idea to all, to help any visitor's that make their choice to come to our church---a rewarding experience. There are many people who are Catholic of some church, that don't go to church, and if they decide to come to your church, and you treat them not friendly, then how are your suggestions helping with this thread?

I think my comment was in agreement with an earlier comment posted by Ruthenian regarding being singled out by the priest in front of the whole church and asked to introduce themselves and where they are from. I have been to different churches where this has happened and I have found this uncomfortable. I think it is ceratinly appropriate for a priest to approach you afterward or you to greet the priest afterward. I think it is always welcome to be received by parishoners on an individual basis with a handshake and a welcome. As I said earler I think I would welcome someone walking me through the steps of the Divine Liturgy. What would make me uncomfortable would be the singling out in front of the whole church, but that is my personal preference. If I encountered friendly people and liked the service I would be back and welcome further interaction at that time.

My priest (and this is a fairly large congregation) will often ask: "Do we have any visitors here today?"
The people who are visiting raise their hands, and do not stand up.
He then asks them, "Where are you visting from?"
They answer, and that is it...

Ofcourse, you don't have to raise your hand, so it affords a way out for someone who is not Orthodox, or is too shy.

Unfortunately, I have noticed that priests are often too busy when giving out andidoron to notice too many things...though when visiting churches, this is a good time to say hello to the priest and quickly introduce yourself, or comment on something you liked.

Also, atleast in some Greek Orthodox churches, the priests often seem to get busy (with what in particular--I don't know) after all have gone to the hall for coffee, so one usually doesn't see them there until almost all have left. (Because politics are rampant in Greek churches, it may be that the parish priest does not want to socialize there for that very reason--who knows?!?)

Coffee time (or 'agape') as the Greeks call it, is a good time to meet people, but I find when visiting other parishes, that in Greek churches, (and even in larger churches of other jurisdictions) you may just be standing there, alone or with your spouse, drinking coffee alone. Rarely, it seems, do people take the time to come and say hello...

In Christ,
Alice