www.byzcath.org Forums General Discussions Town Hall Name Changes after marriage

My fiancé is Greek and we are getting married in a Greek Church in a few months. Since I am of a catholic background I am not fully knowledgeable of what constitutes good standing in the Greek Orthodox Church and I have a question about name changes after our wedding. After we are married I would like to hyphenate my last name with my fiancé’s last name. Will that affect his good standing in the Greek Church?

Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you very much.

The main thing that affects your standing in the Greek Orthodox Church is whether you are Orthodox. I assume that, because your wedding will take place in church, you have converted to Orthodoxy (by Chrismation, one would hope, and not by rebaptism). My sister married a Greek, and had two weddings. Because she wanted an outdoor wedding, and no Greek priest would perform such a rite, she was married by some rent-a-pastor in a kind of nondescript service.

A few years later, after their daughter was born, and they wished to have her baptized, they were shocked to learn the Church did not consider them married. So, there was a big rush as she was (a) baptized and Chrismated and (b) Crowned; which was followed immediately thereafter by the Illumination of my niece. It was an interesting (and probably un-canonical) afternoon.

And, as is perhaps typical in such cases, she has become far more involved in the Orthodox Church than her Greek husband.

Dear Friend in Christ,

I am Greek Orthodox. Don't worry about hyphenating your last name as far as church standing....

As Stuart said, the only thing that is important is marrying in the Church!

Do you know that in Greece, thanks to the socialist government of the 80's, women now have to keep their own names after marrying--even in the Church...

Some of us like legally taking our husband's name as our own, and I feel the Greek law is an infringement on women's rights as much as anything else..

Alice

I agree! I love being called by my married name! I also want to be called Mrs and not Ms.

Alice,

That does seem to infringe. What a weird law.

StuartK,

Is it common in Orthodoxy not to baptize an infant whose parents aren't married? If so, I can't help but find that kind of disturbing, sort of like how in previous years in Catholicism a man born out of wedlock couldn't become a diocesan/secular priest.

Alexis

Or if wanting to join a religious order/congregation could only be a lay brother and not a full member of that order/congregation.

Women in some parts of Britain (in particular Scotland) never had the custom, until very recent times of taking their husbands surname.

"Is it common in Orthodoxy not to baptize an infant whose parents aren't married?"

My sister and her husband were legally married by the State of New York. However, as their marriage was not performed by an Orthodox priest in an Orthodox church, their marriage had no canonical standing. and had to be regularized. The Orthodox Church will not baptize an infant whose parents are not married in the eyes of the Orthodox Church. There are, of course, exceptions when the life of the child is at stake. After all, how can the Church ensure that the child will be raised in the faith?

Women in Iceland use a patronymic as their last names, like Signe Ericksdottir.

I happen to know that historically in Scottish legal documents a married woman used to be referred to by both her maiden name and her married name, i.e. "Anne Murray or Stewart" or "Mary Douglas or Hamilton."

I believe the choice of last name is purely a matter of civil law. It seems to have nothing to do with canon or church law. Therefore, I think, it should not affect the sacramentality or validity of the marriage, or your fiancé's good standing as an Orthodox Christian. If in doubt, do please ask your fiancé's parish priest. I'm sure he'll be happy to answer any questions you may have.

Good luck!

This is, as far as I know NOT true...the priest may have just used it as a way to subtly coerce the couple into becoming married sacramentally.

Normally, an Orthodox priest would never turn away a baby from being baptized into the Christian faith if the parents wanted it to be!

Please note that the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese guidelines for infant baptism mention nothing about the parents being Orthodox:

Guidelines for Baptism

Guidelines for Parents:

Choose carefully a sponsor for your child who will be a good Christian example and take seriously the awesome responsibilities a sponsor assumes.

1. Both parents, IF Orthodox Christians, must be members in good standing and current in their Stewardship Pledge to the Church.

2. A name of Christian origin is to be given the child at baptism.

3. The day, time and other arrangements must be made with the priest by calling the Church Office atleast three weeks prior to the baptism.

4.Someone should be appointed to undress and dress the child.

5.Two people should be appointed to carry the candles during the service.

6.To insure the proper dignity and solemnity of your child’s baptism pictures should be limited as much as possible.


Alice

Alice is right. It is just not true.

I will add one thing to this thread

Here on Byzcath we do have a Latin Rite member married to a Greek Orthodox woman. They were married in the Orthodox Church and their daughter was Baptised [ and of course Chrismated and Communed at that time ]

I remember our member writing very movingly of his feelings later when the whole family went to DL and he [ the Catholic father ] carried his little child down for her reception of the Holy Mysteries .

I'm sure now I have mentioned this experience, that other's will remember . I have not mentioned our member by name - deliberately - for his privacy.

Now back to the original question - which has yet has not been answered


auore asked

Does anyone actually know the answer ?

Stuart,

That assumption is a broad jump. The USCCB has issued guidelines for marriage between Orthodox and Catholics that presume the marriage will be celebrated in the Orthodox temple. I don't have a link to the text at hand right now, but I'll be surprised if no one else does.

Many years,

Neil

Neil,

Point taken. I should have remembered as I read the guidelines.