|
0 members (),
322
guests, and
93
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums26
Topics35,516
Posts417,589
Members6,167
| |
Most Online4,112
Mar 25th, 2025
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 5,264
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 5,264 |
My son sent this to me this morning. It is just WAAAY too funny! The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( i must ad mit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the Rules "
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not wort h the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 2,214
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 2,214 |
"1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear."
Ha
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 10,994 Likes: 10
Moderator Member
|
|
Moderator Member
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 10,994 Likes: 10 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,964
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,964 |
Yes and No are both acceptable answers. 
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 10,994 Likes: 10
Moderator Member
|
|
Moderator Member
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 10,994 Likes: 10 |
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! LOL, LOL, LOL!!! I may never hear the end of this one (or ever get that extra weight off him) now that I shared this with my husband!!! 
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 409
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 409 |
"1. You have too many shoes."
There is no such thing as too many shoes.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 704
Bill from Pgh Member
|
|
Bill from Pgh Member
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 704 |
Good stuff! "1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!" That one especially. 
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,964
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,964 |
"1. You have too many shoes."
There is no such thing as too many shoes. More than two shoes is excessive, unless you are a horse. More than four is excessive, period.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 10,994 Likes: 10
Moderator Member
|
|
Moderator Member
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 10,994 Likes: 10 |
"1. You have too many shoes."
There is no such thing as too many shoes. More than two shoes is excessive, unless you are a horse. More than four is excessive, period. NOT true...ofcourse men would not understand, but let me try: A woman needs casual shoes that are flat, shoes with heels for slightly more formal wear, shoes with heels for very dressy occasions, different colors to match different outfits, shoes for working out (sneakers/or 'trainers' as the Brits here might like to call them), shoes that match the season, ie: boots and sandals and beach sandals....and then let's not forget new shoes that are in fashion, and merrily, merrily, merrily, the list goes on and on!! NEVER be so foolish as to think that a woman has enough shoes!!! LOL!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,735 Likes: 6
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,735 Likes: 6 |
Alice, you should try the old Russian peasant oonochi. Very comfortable and goes with everything. First the foot is wrapped in a layer of felt, and then covered with an attractive protective layer of birchbark, and the whole ensemble is then tastefully wrapped with an old rag or a strap of leather. I hear that Versace is looking into it.  Sasha
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,735 Likes: 6
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,735 Likes: 6 |
When I was growing up, one generally had 2 pairs of shoes, your "good shoes", which were ONLY worn to Church, funerals and like, and your "play shoes", which were normally a form of leather soled clodhoppers of some sort. The poor kids, on the other hand, generally only had "play shoes", and wore them to Church, and the really poor kids would just paint their feet black and hoped no one would notice.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 787
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 787 |
I also grew up with us having two pairs of shoes. The first was not only for church and special occasions, but also were worn at school. We called these our "good shoes" and a new pair was bought for us each fall. The second pair were indeed termed "play shoes." They were invariably last years "good" shoes pressed into a second year of service. I always remember my Mother sending me right upstairs right after to school each day to change into my play clothes and play shoes.
Fr David Straut
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 10,994 Likes: 10
Moderator Member
|
|
Moderator Member
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 10,994 Likes: 10 |
Alice, you should try the old Russian peasant oonochi. Very comfortable and goes with everything. First the foot is wrapped in a layer of felt, and then covered with an attractive protective layer of birchbark, and the whole ensemble is then tastefully wrapped with an old rag or a strap of leather. I hear that Versace is looking into it. Sasha Dearest Sasha, Hmmm...I don't know...I think I will pass on those for now! LOL!  (You really are TOO funny! Thanks for the giggle of the night!) Regards, Alice
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 409
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 409 |
Alice,
I am sooo with you! I have red shoes (red leather peep toes just like Sarah Palin- my favs!), green shoes (I will most definitely bust them out for Pentecost next week), purple shoes, brown shoes, black shoes (flats, kitten heels and pumps) numerous pairs of flip fops, loafers, sandals, work out shoes (only worn at or in a gym), shoes for riding my bike, and two pairs of every day tennis shoes and then some...
I consider my shoe collection to be both practical and an expression of who I am. I usually get many compliments on them. For a girl, it would almost be unthinkable to wear a pair of brown pumps with a black dress. (And I know men don't care, but it is a pet peeve of mine when men wear black shoes and a brown belt.)
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 787
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 787 |
IFor a girl, it would almost be unthinkable to wear a pair of brown pumps with a black dress. (And I know men don't care, but it is a pet peeve of mine when men wear black shoes and a brown belt.) Well, I must agree with you on this one. Black with black and brown with brown. Of course (other than vestments) I wear absolutely nothing but black, so I'm always safe. Fr David
|
|
|
|
|
