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Prayer for Those Who Are Abused

Lord Jesus Christ, our True God, You dwell in the highest and You care for the humble. You search the reins and the heart and clearly discern the most hidden things of men. Light from eternity, You are the ever-existing One, with You there is no shadow that veils nor hidden thing that Your Light cannot pierce.

Come, O King Immortal and gently touch those who have been abused by parents, teachers, clergy, or others in authority over them. Deep within so many of Your brothers and sisters are the scars, the running sores, the rot left behind by memories of the experiences they have had at the hands of others. Some are wounded so deeply that they cannot love, they cannot feel, they cannot live except with a hard shell around them that cuts others off and seals them into the tomb of hopelessness and pain that feeds on itself and slowly destroys the capacity to receive Your grace.

Lord, gently touch Your sons and daughters through us. Help us to reach out and to be so open and unconditionally accepting that the shells may be broken, the hurt may begin to be salved, and Your servants—our brothers and sisters in the human family—may begin to heal. Help us, Your servants, to be the Good Samaritan to our hurting brothers and sisters. Let us be gentle, but not intrusive; help us to know when to speak to and when to just BE there for them.

Help us understand that sometimes Your broken servants need us to take two steps back when we think we should push ahead two steps, even when we think that push is gentle. Help us to understand that sometimes a hug is worth an hour of speaking. Help us to understand that sensitivity to the hurt is the first step and that we are probing psychological and spiritual wounds that are just as real as physical wounds.

Help us to understand that prayer for Your suffering servants is always the right way because it is You Who will heal, even when it seems that we are so great a part in that healing. Help us also to understand that we may not know ourselves what our brothers and sisters need and to be open to letting You give us direction by the Holy Spirit.

Lord, You have allowed Your servants to be cast down. Raise them up by Your healing. You have allowed them to be struck and wounded deeply. Heal them by Your power, always gentle to those who are hurting. If You send the Holy Spirit to work through us, let Him give us what You know your suffering servants need.

Lord, we are all wounded by events and people on our pilgrim journey. Some of us are hurt more than others. Help us to be like Simon of Cyrene to those we see around us who are hurting. Through the prayers of the Mother of God, of the intercessions of the Holy Apostles, saints, martyrs, patriarchs, confessors, and other blessed spirits whom You have gathered into Your Kingdom, and of the intercessions of all the Holy Angels, Lord, hear our prayers on behalf of Your suffering servants, our brothers and sisters in You and in the whole human family. Amen.

Prayer composed by Theophan (Bob)

Well the big meeting at the Vatican is done. To my knowledge only the Bishop of Limerick<Donnal Murray> has resigned over the church abuse scandal in Ireland. What of the others? From what I have seen thus far they are still in place. I am done, as in gone, finished. It has been a long time in coming but the day of reckoning has come.

Viking

Bishops Eammon Walsh, Raymond Field and Andrew Maddon have also resigned in the wake of this scandal, back in December.

So is that the lot then or are there still some bad apples hanging around?

Viking

If I may be allowed to broaden the scope of this discussion, I really think the problem stems from the fact that the particular point in history when these events occurred was a time when Christendom as it had been known had all but disappeared, but to a large extent the Church in the West was at a loss as to what to do about it.

This helps to explain:
#1, why abusive behavior was seen as acceptable--in the old, monarchistic worldview, obedience tended to be regarded as the supreme virtue, and since children who were "disenfranchised" (pardon the neologism here, but I can't seem to think of a better term) tended to act more disobediently than children from good homes, they were very much looked down upon--regarded almost as animals.
#2, why abusive behavior was more likely to occur--an intense grief over the demise of Christendom was felt by many within the Church, and many of these couldn't deal with it adequately, producing a condition that often leads to "acting out" behavior. Since these children represented the very "loss of respect for authority" that was seen as the cause of these woes, it is easy to see how they would become a target for this pent-up frustration.

I realize that many will see this analysis as far-fetched (or worse), but I'd appreciate some honest feedback.


Peace,
Deacon Richard

Father Deacon Richard, I don't think for one minute that what you said is farfetched.

Methinks that clericalism infected with latent jansenism is the bird that laid the hellish egg out of which child/adolescent abuse was hatched.

I must be losing my marbles ! I thought I put a post out on this forum a day or two ago but I can't seem to find it.

Oh well. It seems that the abuse problems in the church just won't stop. USA, Ireland, and now it is looking like Germany is in the picture. The problem truly is systemic.

Viking

Infidelity to the Gospel and fallen human nature make us all into potential "bad apples" in the Church.

Of course, "bad" admits of degrees.

I dare say one of the problems in the Catholic Communion of Churches is that we have too many bishops, and that they have way more power than they deserve or can handle.

when was the last time you heard a prayer at Liturgy for an increase in vocations to the episcopacy? If you have never heard such a petition, it's because of an important but highly-ignored theological principle: a little bit of bishop goes a long way.

Regarding closing of religiosu orders, I posit these questions seeing as we just had forgiveness sunday.

1. Where is the forgiveness in closing orders? We should forgive not once, or twice, but indefinitely (the real meaning of the seventy times seven remark in scripture).
2. What about the justice shown by God in scripture who said that if one righteous man remained in the city He would not destroy it?
3. What about he who is without sin should throw stones? I am certainly not without sin, and I recall the line from the psalms (Psalm 14?) about "the Lord looked down from Heaven upon the CHildren of men and found that none was good, no, not one" (or something like that).
4. It would be hard to find a single Catholic male religious order where at least one person has not be accused of abuse. Do we close them all?
5. Statistics show that most sexual abuse occurs within families. Do we abolish the family?

We are all sinful creatures; that is the reality, and the mystery of God is that he loves us in spite of this, and challenges us to be as loving as He is.

And before someone accuses me of being unrealistic I should state that I have personal experience of being at the receiving end of sexual abuse, so I am very realistic.

Otsheylnik,

My first thought with regard to this statement was that a pattern had been established that was way beyond the isolated cases you refer to for comparison.

However, I started to realize then that the scope of the problem is simply too broad for the closing of one religious community to be seen as a genuine solution, rather than "just another" hypocritical cover-up.

It seems to me that at some point there will have to be an accounting, a kind of "come to God" event in which these sins are dealt with appropriately. *Perhaps* the Irish bishops can still accept the challenge where the U.S. bishops have not.


Peace,
Deacon Richard

Check out the link. There are far more than the above. That being said I do not know if all of these are implicated or not. Seems to me if they where in place when any of the abuse went down and was covered up they are part of the problem.

http://www.catholic-hierarchy.org/country/die2.html

Viking

I see your point but there is no way I would ever trust any of these institutions or anyone associated with them. If I was a member of any of them I sure would be looking for some place else to fulfil my vocation. Your argument in #4 seems somewhat silly to me. The problems with sexual predation seem to be systemic and it seems that every time one turns around there is more abuse. Now the church in Germany seems to be in the thick of it. The Jesuits to be specific.. As for # 3. Yes we are all sinners but not sexual predators. I could go on but I won't bother. If to forgive means to let these child predators off of the hook then they are out of luck with me.

Viking

Well again, I would make the point that one is more likely to be abused by a parent or relative than a church figure. Does this mean we should abolish families? Of course not. What it means is that we should take note of this and be looking closer to home for abuse rather than focus on schools run by a particular religious order - particularly when that order has very few members left in schools anyway. It may seem abuse is more prevalent in religious orders, but considering sexual abuse is under-reported, particularly where complex family ties are involved that encourage silence and non-disclosure I actually think this is a temporary phase and that it is only a matter of time before more people come out as abused in different scenarios that far eclipse the number of church cases. Think about it - the Church is now a target. There is not as much stigma associated with disclosing abuse in a Church setting, because people "expect" it. As the number of reports of abuse in different settings are given more prominence, I expect those to blow out too.

The biggest factor encouraging abuse is a culture of silence. Since the floodgates have opened and complaints have become de rigeur in the Catholic Church and some of its orders, that climate of silence is gone. It is perhaps no coincidence that many of the accused Christian Brothers in Australia have left the order (google broken rites for a webpage on this) - if they are of a mind to continue offending they will find this much easier in the community than in the order, which is on most people's watch list as posts here have shown.

As for "letting people off the hook" - you can never, ever, suitably "punish" someone in this life. You can lock them up, castrate them, even kill them (which some people argue of). However, ultimately none of this atones for the effect they have had on an individuals life. I personally find the most powerful thing one can do to combat their abuse is to refuse to spend the entirety of one's life in a spirit of revenge and hatred. By all means we should imprison people, but this is to protect others from undergoing the same experience - if punishment is the goal it will always fall short.