www.byzcath.org Forums General Discussions Town Hall Taking care of elderly

Hi All, I was interested in the tangent on the Christian-non-Christian muslim thread,but didn't dare risk Alice's righteous wrath with another digression.

Sometimes elderly people prefer not to live with family members. This society is very different,and this is not necessarily a bad thing,from Mediterranean and other cultures. There are also negatives to all that close living too, (India's infamous mother in laws from hell is one example)

Ignored elderly people sometimes deserve what they get.Harsh but true. If you bully,ignore or treat children or grands badly, they may take you in but only as a duty. I have only one grandparent that I would have willingly wanted to live with us,and fact is, I would have had to fight with my other cousins for the privilege. I'd never have let the others suffer,but it would taken a hefty dose of Christian love to survive living with them.

My family and friends do take care of their elderly,sometimes out of real love and affection,but mainly out of duty. I don't know these people who supposedly completely ignore their elderly.Immigrants always complain about Americans putting their elderly in nursing homes,but in most cases that is the best that can be done.

indigo:

Christ is in our midst!!

I know more than enough of these types. But I usually only hear from the abandoned elderly. I don't know many of the family dynamics that have gone on prior. However, according to many stories I hear, it revolves around an elderly person selling a home and refusing to give the kids their "inheritance" early.

BOB

There's a difference between just being elderly, and actually needing nursing care. I know a lady who anguished over putting her husband in a nursing home, but she was a very small person - he wasn't - and she just couldn't physically care for him as his condition worsened. I have had a few relatives that no one wanted near. And for the most part, they were just being rewarded with exactly the behavior they had shown others. This is all a very difficult situation, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Dear Indigo,

LOL...I didn't think my wrath was so fearsome!

Thanks for starting this thread. There are indeed, many different situations and considerations.

I will say again that I respect our President and the First Lady for having her mother live with them in the White House to help with the children. That is a very beautiful thing on the part of both the parents and the grandparent, who is still relatively young and vital. The way they all get along is a blessing for all of them and for their children. They set an excellent example of extended family for Americans of all cultures.

Best regards,
Alice