www.byzcath.org Forums Faith & Christian Life Faith & Theology Byzantine Catholic Wedding

father deacon lance, could you give me your email address...that would be so kind, because i am a new user here, i dont have the privilege of sending private messages...

Erik,

You have plenty of time. When you go through Pre-Cana the Priest who explains the Crowning will explain all of the reasons we practice the traditions that we do. Hopefully that experience will help you to help your fiancee understand.

Erik,

576weakland@comcast.net

Fr. Deacon Lance

Our parish has the unusual situation of having a second Altar outside (someday I'll get the full story). The courtyard is also substantially larger than the church, so we use it for larger crowds.

With the extra space, we lined up in the parking lot, and and had plenty of room to start with our daughter yet have her walk in with the priest.

Another solution someone mentioned in another thread was for the father walk his daughter from the car to the betrothal.


hawk

First, Welcome to Byzcath, Eric!
I got married 2 years ago at the age of forty-(hmmmmm). My wife, Christine, and I collaborated on which arrangement of the hymns was going to be sung and such. Her father was not happy that he wouldn't be walking down the aisle with her, but, through explanation of the how and why of the Byzantine Catholic Wedding ceremony he came to understand the significance of the bride and groom walking down the aisle together.

There is, to me, a significance of the Bride and Groom walking down the aisle together. It is rather humbling, yet energisiing. Both the Bride and Groom are setting forth on a new journey in the eyes of God, the Church, and the community at large, starting at that very moment. There is a sense of the significance of that moment marking the beginning of the journey and the ceremony yet to unfold.

As to no music as the Bride and Groom walk down the aisle?
Psalm 127 is traditionally sung, or chanted, as the Bride and Groom process dwn the aisleand there are some wonderful choir arrangements in the Byzantine'Rusyn tradition. We were fortunate to have members of three choirs and a guest cantor combine to sing the wedding music and responses. From our own church choir, an OCA Orthodox choir and a Russian Catholic choir.

P.S.
I just spoke to my wife about this and she says, it is her day too.
Marriage is not an absolute with zero compromises. There are compromises all the time. So in the spirit of marriage, i would have to say that there will be a way to work it out. That's what marriage is about, striking a balance.
I would concur that there are compromises that could be made and still maintain the Byzantine Catholic ceremony.

P.S.S.

Is your wife planning to remain Protestant after you get married? Is she just humoring you with the wedding being Eastern/Byzantine/Catholic while resenting the strict structure?

This is a question that must be answered NOW, before you get married, otherwise there will be trouble. No, you don't need to post the answer here.
Sorry to be so blunt, but misunderstandings before the wedding tends to lead to further misunderstandings afterward.

Steve

"As to no music as the Bride and Groom walk down the aisle?
Psalm 127 is traditionally sung, or chanted, as the Bride and Groom process dwn the aisleand there are some wonderful choir arrangements in the Byzantine'Rusyn tradition. "

No, they mean real wedding music, like the March from Lohengrin, Clarke's Trumpet Voluntary, or Pachelbel's Canon.

"Marriage is not an absolute with zero compromises. There are compromises all the time. "

Sacraments are not about compromises. And it's not your day or her day, it is the Lord's day. Remind her of that.

I'm Steve's wife and sorry to be late to this discussion. However, I had to respond to this.

"Sacraments are not about compromises" - Are you saying that specific music is required in order for the sacrament to be properly administered? Can you please provide some official documentation to back that up?

"And it's not your day or her day, it is the Lord's day." Every day is the Lord's day. In His great mercy, He shares His days with us.

"Remind her of that." I didn't see the magic word.

Each Eastern Church has its own unique set of chant tones for the different hymns, prayers, troparia, kontakia, etc. The rubrics specify which tones are to be used. No deviation is permitted. In fact, the great thing about the Byzantine Orthodox Rite of Crowning is almost no discretion is given to the couple, to the celebrant or anybody else. This is the service, this is how you do it. It isn't multiple choice.

Ditto for Byzantine funeral services. Idiosyncratic personalizations aren't envisioned. As far as I know...

Even in the Roman Church, the rubrics are explicit about what mst be done. It just allows a selection of readings. From a short list.

But, insofar as music is not integral to the Latin service, the couple have a lot of choices on things such as the processional and recessional, as well as occasional hymns.

Sorry to interrupt this recently revived exchange -

Firstly, welcome back Christine, it's been a long while, nice to see a post from you.

Secondly, to all the participants ... Theist Girl's subtle (?) last line points out a recurring note throughout this thread ... the lack of charity in discussion. It is all well and good, and proper, to point out the theological, spiritual, and traditional ways of doing things and the reasons behind them.

What is unnecessary to doing so and not justified as necessary to stressing the import of these matters is that posters be rude, pedantic, or patronizing, and fail to consider that the individual being most berated here is not a direct party to the conversation (and, one might hope, is not reading over Erik's shoulder).

Little, if any, attention is being afforded to exploring the fact that the young lady has been brought up in a very different cultural and religious environment - oh, I know that it has been addressed, but not in any way that might suggests we understand where she is coming from and why. The overriding thrust has been toward demanding that the groom-to-be forcibly impress on her why her way is wrong and our way is right.

I suggest that posters review their words for tenor, as well as content, before posting. Otherwise, I'm going to suggest that the young man consider taking the discussion off-line with Father Deacon Lance and whomever else might be prepared to have a civil discussion of the topic with him.

Many years,

Neil

ErikJ:

you need the Bishop's approval to deviate from the books. And it's not bloody likely.

Or, for that matter, to get married elsewhere. Which is more likely to be obtained. Dispensations to marry protestants are not difficult in the US, but expect some extra paperwork.