www.byzcath.org Forums Faith & Christian Life Faith & Theology How many are in a catholic-orthodox marriage?

Dear Stuart,

The advice of Alexandr is what jkay should follow. When push comes to shove it is of little importance what SCOBA has published since it is a merely an inter-church advisory body and a think tank, without any official authority. It does not make decisions for the bishops or the Orthodox Churches. Any individual bishop may agree or disagree with the handful of his brother bishops who meet in SCOBA.

Dear jkay,

Alexandr (Slavipodvizhnik) has in my opinion given you sound advice. You need to discuss matters directly with your parish priest. He will have already been given broad guidelines on these matters from his ruling bishop.

As for raising the children in one Church or the other.... in some Orthodox Churches, the bishops require the non-Orthodox partner to sign a pre-nup undertaking to baptize the children and bring them up as Orthodox. Other Orthodox Churches do not insist on this. The paper signed is only an undertaking and does not bind the non-Orthodox partner under heavy oaths of any sort. If he or she wishes to ignore it later in life he may. You will not be excommunicated if your husband decides he cannot hold to what he has signed (if he is even asked to sign) and if he insists the children are reared as Catholic.

And, to get back to Alexandr's advice: "You need to seriously sit down with your spiritual father and discuss this face to face."

jkay,

While I won't disagree with Father Ambrose, that ultimately you need to discuss this with your pastor (and he with his pastor, as well), I promised to try and get you some insights from the point of view of a member here who has lived the experience.

I see that Job has offered some such insights and I PM'ed another member, whom we haven't seen for a few months.

Hopefully, Brad/Intrigued Latin will drop by in the next couple of days and tell you how he and his wife approached it. As he is a Latin Catholic, there will be some particular analogy to your situation (I can't remember for certain to which of the Orthodox Churches his wife belongs, so I won't try to guess).

Many years,

Neil

What it comes down to is Stuart's right that locally in America, in practice 'your mileage may vary': some parishes and priests handle intermarriages the way he describes and wants. Slavipodvizhnik's and my point is that the churches' official teachings are what they are and you can't be arrogant and presume that the parish priests will drop them to make you comfortable.

My ultimate point is most Orthodox jurisdictions are applying the guidelines of the Orthodox-Catholic Consultation, which imply a broad oikonomia in this area. And that, contra what rigorists may say, is historically consistent with the praxis (vs. theoretical doctrine) of the Orthodox Church, particularly in regions where there are large numbers of Orthodox and Catholics living in proximity.

I do feel that Alexandr and Father Ambrose are a bit disingenuous or perhaps just inconsistent in advising people to consult with and follow the advice of their Spiritual Father, while at the same time implying that there can be no latitude granted in this area. One gets the impression that if the Spiritual Father gave advice contrary to their own opinions, Alexandr and Father Ambrose would both denounce the Spiritual Father for heterodoxy, violating the canons of the Church, and placing the souls of the faithful at risk.

Cool your feverish brain, my son! It is more than clear from Alexandr's contributionss and my own that we both advise consulation with the parish priest or spiritual father/mother as something imperative. It is kind of rude of you to burden Alexandr and me with positions we simply do not hold.

If Jkay were a member of the Serbian Church, the Russian Church or the Russian Church Abroad I could probably offer her concrete guidelines in this matter (distinct from the Catholic-Orthodox Consultation.)

But even if I were to do so, the question really rests with her priest and with whatever guidelines the ruling bishop has outlined for his diocese.

Let's say that by embracing the OCA, the GOA, and the AOC, SCOBA encompasses the vast majority of Orthodox in the United States.

Are you aware of SCOBA's authority, or more accurately, the fact that it has no authority?

Sending jkay to SCOBA for direction is almost as bad as your earlier advice to the Orthodox on intercommunion with non-Orthodox and (how did you put it?) ignoring the front office. LOL!

It has no jurisdiction; it has no power; but it has authority to the extent that it serves as the only means of coordination among the diverse Orthodox jurisdictions in the United States absent a unified Orthodox Church or a recognizable primacy among the Orthodox themselves. The Orthodox here are too few and too scattered to operate as distinct stovepipes. In matters that affect all American Orthodox Christians, there must be cooperation and coordination, otherwise there would be conflict among jurisdictions on fundamental pastoral issues. The problem of intermarriage with Catholics affects all Orthodox jurisdictions, and if there were widely variable rules among them, then people would be Church hopping constantly to get the outcomes they desire. Hence, the recommendations of the Consultation were accepted by SCOBA, and have been implemented by its members.

my dear friends.. I have been away for some time.. particularly in the month of December.. read about my experience in the Prayers forum later...

JKAY,
I am in a mixed marriage... my wife is Greek Orthodox (but does not speak Greek) I am Latin Catholic. We were married in an Orthodox Church.. and all 3 of my children are baptized in the Orthodox church...

I am very respectful and intrigued by the Eastern Orthodox faith, Divine Liturgy and traditions, however I haven't felt the urge to convert or the calling to convert... I am still in love with the Novus Ordo and a proper Latin Mass.

Our children will attend a Catholic school and if they are drawn to the Catholic faith in their older years, that is their decision...

It seems to work for us when we attend DL and Mass. My children receive Holy Communion in the ORthodox Church and come up with me in the Latin Church and receive a blessing from Father.

I hope that helps..

Brad