Winter Warlock Threatens Great Pumpkin! ![[Linked Image]](https://www.byzcath.org/images/Warlock-GreatPumpkin.jpg)
[Weather.com] - The Winter Warlock is threatening sincere pumpkin patches across North America this week as pumpkin lovers from coast to coast prepare to spend Monday night in their backyard pumpkin patches, in the hopes that the Great Pumpkin will judge it the sincerest and leave lots of goodies.
The Rocky Mountain areas from Colorado to Alberta received up to two feet of the white stuff from Mr. Warlock earlier in the week and on Saturday pumpkin patches from Virginia to Maine will be challenged with snowfall amounts from a dusting to a foot. Weather satellites indicate that the Winter Warlock has returned from his summer hiatus and is already blanketing the North Pole with record snows. Unnamed sources state that the National Security Agency has information that the Winter Warlock has a longstanding feud with the Great Pumpkin, but representatives of both have issued statements denying any feud and indicate seasonal friendship and mutual respect. Kris Kringle and Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer could not be reached for comment. Linus, however, held a press conference today in which he stated that he firmly believes that this year his pumpkin patch will be judged the sincerest. (He has also promised to teach Charlie Brown how to use scissors.)
Churches across North America are facing a typicon challenge as the fixed Feast of the Great Pumpkin almost never coincides with the movable feast of the First Appearance of the Winter Warlock. Russian Church officials insist that both canons must be read. Greek Church officials indicate that you take both troparia but can take either canon, or take an abbreviated canon. Ruthenian officials have abbreviated the Vigil to take only the Litija Procession to the Pumpkin Patch and the singing of Pumpkin Carols. All traditions call for a total fast from any food made with pumpkins on this day.
Pumpkin Patch campers are strongly advised to dress warmly on Monday night as they keep the all-night vigil in their pumpkin patches waiting for the Great Pumpkin as temperatures fall below freezing. Those planning to use snow-blowers to clean off the pumpkins so that they can be seen by the Great Pumpkin as he flies by are urged to do safely, and not to in any way harm a pumpkin.
