Ivanov,
Welcome to the Forum! Very thoughtful post. Prayers that you are at peace in your spiritual journey. Hopefully, you'll find your time here to be both spiritually and intellectually rewarding. We're a very diverse community - Eastern and Oriental Catholic and Orthodox, as well as a sizeable number of non-Eastern Christians, mostly Latin but a few members of other Churches as well who, although committed to their own Church, have an abiding respect for and interest in/love for the spirituality and praxis of the East.
Many years,
Neil
