www.byzcath.org Forums Faith & Christian Life Faith & Theology Infant Communion Trauma

Dear Friends,

Yesterday my family attended a GO Divine Liturgy, in memory of my wife's uncle who reposed last Christmas morning.
I took my 27 month old daughter Ava up for Holy Communion. What has never been an issue before, seemed like nothing short of a WWF wrestling match yesterday.

As we got closer to the Chalice, I noticed two men, who appeared to be ushers, as they were not vested. One of them was holding the heads of children as Father administered the Gifts to them. One of them was quite scary looking actually and was a bit frightening when I first saw him.
As I don't speak or understand Greek, the Priest asked me my daughter's name in English, I replied "Ava". No sooner did the two men start wrestling with her, pulling her away from me, holding her arms in the air, and forcing her to turn her head towards Father. Ava immediately started crying and resisting anything these men were doing to her. I tried telling them that it was okay, and just to leave her to calm down, but I could not speak Greek and I don't think they understood my English.
When it was all over, Ava did receive, but it was by force, which we'd never have to do before.
Perhaps I should have let Ava walk up holding my hand, or I should have cradled her in my arms. I hope this event has not left a bad memory for her as, receiving the Most Precious Body and Blood of our Lord should always be a good thing.
I would have felt guilty for not bringing her up, and now I feel just as bad for the trauma that I put her through.


Brad

Oh Brad

what a shame

I can only suggest that you have a word with the Priest in future so that he will understand that Ava will not make a fuss.

Dear Brad,

I am sorry for those gruff ushers. Greek born men aren't known to be the gentlest of God's creatures! LOL! :rolleyes:

Many babies cry before receiving Holy Communion and usually the priest knows how to administer it to an ambivalent or resistant infant. Since every baby has gone through this type of resistance, (including my own) atleast once in their lifetime, and none of them have been traumatized that I know of, I wouldn't worry.

As the babies grow up and get older and go to Sunday School, they will be more than delighted to line up with their friends and classmates to receive Holy Communion.

You are such a concerned and loving soul, Brad.
Don't worry, little Ava will be just fine.

If one really thinks about it, the most traumatic of all events in a baby's experience in *some* Greek Orthodox churches, is baptism! I have seen very few happy and untraumatized babies being dunked by, what they must deem, an ominous man with a long beard and strange clothes!

Well, that is a topic for another discussion....

God bless you!
With love in Christ,
Alice

Anhelnya / Alice,
Thanks for your advice.

Actually, now that Ava and myself have had a day to reflect, it appears as though I'm probably more traumatized than she is.


Brad

I agree with Alice, concerning "trauma"....but I think that under absolutely NO circumstances should you let this pass...speak to the priest....through an interpreter if need be. There is NO reason anyone other than the parent/relative who is holding a baby needs to restrain it. I understand their concern that a flailing infant can cause a disaster, and certainly say that children should be held in such a manner as pervents them from accidentally spilling the Body and Blood of our Lord...But what you describe is inexcusable.

Gaudior, who states that the word you want is OXI!...(NO!) All other words I can think of would be exceedingly inappropriate in the House of God....

Dear Brad,

In carefully rereading your post, I will have to echo Gaudior's point about those ushers. Besides being gruff, they were, atleast in my experience both here in the U.S. and even in Greece, an anomaly.

I have never seen anyone, other than the parent or godparent bringing the child for communion handle, touch or carry a baby, whether it was a calm baby or a fussy baby.

You or your wife might want to e-mail the priest about this. It may be high time for this strange practice of the ushers, though well intentioned I am sure, to be curtailed.

Just a thought......

Alice

Gaudior / Alice,

Thank you once again.
I was speaking with my mother in law this morning regarding the fiasco. As she witnessed it from the other side of the Church.
She said that the men there were doing that will all the children, to expedite the process as the Communion line was extremely large and there were two priests administering that day.
I am still a bit disappointed when I visualize what these men were doing. It was as if one usher had Ava in a headlock while the other had her arms stretched out.
Ava was extremely calm as we approached and she was admiring the Icons on the ceiling and the walls of the Church. It was not as if she was "squirming all over the place" In all the times that Ava has received it has been a beautiful and calm experience.
She actually slept through the entire night on Sunday in her new toddler bed, without getting up and coming into Mummy and Daddy's room to tell us how dark it is outside 3:00am. So I guess there's a good thing that came of this.

I've never known ushers to take babies in their arms for reception of communion. Seems like a very strange practice.

CDL

No one should be manhandling your child. You may have a problem the next time she is to go to Communion. Hopefully you wont but certainly stand up for your child and dont allow that to happen again, or you will havea problem to sort out. I also have never known men to do this. I have seen Orthodox nuns on the TV in some places assist with the communion of babies and small children and all went well. In other places I have seen where older ladies did the same role and all went well.

" I am sorry for those gruff ushers. Greek born men aren't known to be the gentlest of God's creatures! LOL! "

What's that supposed to mean? I am a Greek born man but I am gentle. At least I think I am...

Anyway, that is the reason I strongly support the Latin tradition of not giving communion to children 'till they are old enough to understand what is going on and the importance of the Mass.

My dearest Armando,

Hehehehehe......I am glad to know that there are exceptions to the rule!

Fondest regards,
Alice

I've known some Greek-born men who are both gentle and pleasant (as well as a few who were neither, but ethnicity is no guarantee of particular virtues or vices).

As to the Holy Communion for infants, if the priest knows what he is doing there is seldom much of a problem. A child who resists should be met with patience rather than coercion - if the child is in its mother's or father's arms the child is normally re-assured and will associate the spoon with eating and open the mouth almost instinctively. All children have the occasional "don't feel like eating" moment which, again, is best met with patience unless one suspects actual illness.

However, says Mr. Pastoral Prudence, if the child has any reason to associate the line for Holy Communion with heavy adults using force, the child will not overly pleased!

Incognitus

Forgive me for coming back on this Brad , after Incognitus' wise words.

It strikes me that this was not your usual Church - am I correct ?

If this is the case may I make one further suggestion ? Yeah - I'm going to make it anyway :p

Speak to Ava's own Priest and tell him what has happened so that before you take her to him next time he will understand she may be a little more wary than usual.We can never be sure what little children remember.

Of course should he care to contact the other Priest - well that's up to him :p

Anhelnya,
My usual Church is St. Patrick's (Latin) Catholic Church and on occasion Sts. Peter and Paul Ukranian Catholic. . It is my wife's side of the family who are Greek Orthodox. This Church was where Ava was baptized. There are 3 Greek Orthodox Chruches within a 20 minute drive from our house. We've been to all 3.
The priest is new, and was brought in from another parish. He's a great priest and has administered Holy Communion to Ava before at another Church.

Brad

To All,

Since we are on the subject of children receiving the Eucharist, I recall that when I was young, Greek parents would tell their young offspring that they are taking the 'Golden Bird'.

This came to mind a few months ago, and it seems no one, (I guess in this day and age), recalls hearing that. The expression has always perplexed me, yet now I find it quite understandable since a 'Golden Bird' would be a 'Glowing Bird', and that would be the Holy Spirit.

Just curious? Has anyone else ever heard of that expression?

Zenovia