www.byzcath.org Forums Faith & Christian Life Faith & Theology Finding a Spiritual Father - Advice anyone?

Often as I peruse the different topics, I can't help but admit to a holy envy of those who mention having a spiritual father to guide their daily walk in the Eastern Catholic life. Does anyone have any advice for locating such a treasure? (I don't exactly live near the hub of Eastern Catholic churches!)

Thanks all!

Dear Charitina,

You could start with your own parish priest or another in your parish.

You could ask him if he would be willing to be your guide.

Chances are, if he says, "yes" then he probably has helped others and has a background in this.

If he refuses, he will try and locate someone for you.

Believe or not, a priest once asked me to be his "spiritual father."

I turned him down immediately as I wasn't qualified in the least, of course! I suppose it is possible for a layman to do such - but not an idiot like me.

In addition, pray to the Holy Elder St Seraphim of Sarov and ask him to be your Elder and to send you the guide you need.

Alex

Look around and be prepared to look further afield that your local area. Look listen and prayer for discernment to make a good selection. I know of a lady in Scotland whose Spiritual father is in France. He does not need to be the same priest who you go to confession too either.

Thank you both for your kindly advice!

Peace,
Charitina

It's my understanding that a spiritual father doesn't have to be a priest, it can be a monk also (not all monks are priests). Some monks and priests are willing to offer guidance via phone or email,or snail-mail, meeting face to face a couple of times a year.
btw, can a nun serve as a spiritual guide?

I agree with the advice that you should start with your parish priest and talk to him. I have always felt at home with priests who are monks and friars, but some monks are uncomfortable with female visitors if they are not able to appropriately accommodate us - so you do want to be sensitive to that. You want to have a spiritual advisor who is as comfortable with you as you are with him.

I know I told this story before, but I remember a local Benedictine monk who grew to a grand old age and went to live with sisters who could take care of him. Most of the sisters were pretty up there in age themselves, and very much garbed in modest habits. They were thrilled to have a priest to take care of, because they had to rely up on visiting priests, and the old monk was still quite able to perform his priestly functions. They gave him his own monastic cell, just as he was accustomed to. He kept writing to father abbott to complain about how kind the nuns were to him - but uncomfortable their coming and going in his cell made him! (He thought it was immodest and unbecoming of a monk to get so much female attention.)

Spiritual fatherhood in the Eastern Church is an on-again, off-again phenomenon. They were unheard of before the 19th century in Russia, and when Paisius Velichovsky (sp?) went to Mount Athos in the 18th, it wasn't being practiced anymore there, either. There is an episode in the Dostoyevsky's Brothers Karamozov where the monks even debate the merit of this newly introduced practice. So to absolutize the practice the way some Orthodox do is ridiculous.

A spiritual father in the end for the average person could just be a confessor with a bit of experience. He doesn't necessarily have to govern your life, but he should be there for the tough decisions. One spiritual director I had started out by saying to me, "you basically know where you want to go. I will just help you a bit in getting there." I think that is the best way to go, then you won't have any irrational illusions in him (since he is still a human being) and at the same time you will not be rudderless in your life.

Just my two cents.

Dear Adversus,

Sorry, but you are wrong to characterize the Eastern "Starchestvo" in that way!

Spiritual Fatherhood fell at the time of St Paisius Velichkovsky, but he greatly revitalized it throughout more than ten Orthodox national groups/countries with his monastic revival based on hesychasm (that RC theologs used to describe as "quietism" but they've changed their tune today).

It is true that one will have greater access to genuine spiritual Fathers/Elders in Europe and elsewhere than here - that's because of North America and its spiritual climate, not Eastern Christianity.

I've spoken to visitors here from Ukraine and Russia who tell me that thousands of pilgrims flock to saintly monastics there and receive physical as well as spiritual healings from them, including healings from cancer.

St Seraphim of Sarov himself told his children to invoke his aid as an Elder and that he would guide them as such even from heaven.

But surely visting one's parish priest is a good start.

Alex

I still don't think spiritual fatherhood as an overly charismatic office is essential to Christianity as a whole. True, we must learn from our elders; the Faith is passed on, not invented. But even for monks, the degree in which a spiritual father forms his spiritual son may vary. For some, you have to get a blessing to get a drink of water. For others, it is a letter once a year, a brief encounter, or just that you go to them for confession. Even in the Fathers of the Desert, some were formed by spiritual fathers, some just retired to the desert and prayed, and others carried out their tasks in a cenobium with barely any counsel at all.

I have the same fear that Fr. Seraphim Rose had when he was still alive in Platina. For him, spiritual fatherhood as it was in 19th century Russia was dead, and it is, I think, at least in this country. What we must do now is read Scripture, the Fathers, and the lives of the saints and discern our spiritual life in that way, with the help of other more experienced people certainly. To depend blindly on a spiritual father is just cultish for 21st century man. The just man lives by faith, not by the charisma of someone else.

Dear Friend,

I believe that you live in West Virginia. In Morgantown there is an incredible Orthodox priest--Fr. James Gleason. And not far from Morgantown is the Uniontown, Pa. Byzantine convent where you could find help and guidance, I'm sure. I know that it's a bit of a drive, but a few hours northeast of Morgantown is the Byzantine Carmelite community in Sugarloaf, Pa. That community is the greatest of treasures; they have provided guidance for friend of mine. If you can't get to these weekly, you might be able to do so in each season or during the fasts. If it is a matter of money, please let me know at rossib@opeuseiu.org. If you are in southern West Virginia, a drive straight west into Kentucky's "Catholic Crescent" might be possible. Twenty years ago I met a Sister there who tried to teach me a great lesson which I was too stupid to learn at the time. An internet search for convents there may help you find what you're searching for.

May God guide you!

bob

Perhaps you need a more accurate definition of spiritual fatherhood?

Spiritual fatherhood and motherhood is all about learning from our (spiritual) elders.

Spiritual fatherhood and motherhood is all about passing on the faith.

Spiritual fatherhood and motherhood has nothing to do with inventing anything. It never did.

In some cases it can be about spiritual companionship (someone to travel the road with).

In other case it can be about spiritual leadership (someone who has traveled the road telling you where the potholes are).

A spiritual father or mother need not be a monastic. It could very easily be that grandmother at Church who has �been there�.

But very often monastics make good spiritual fathers and mothers because they have had the time to devote themselves to prayer. Prayer is everything in the spiritual journey.

All I have to add is do not totally discount those outside of the Byzantine Churches.

That is, Latins can be good to.

I found great help and assistance from the abbot of the local Cistercian monastery.

Dear David,

I agree that some Roman Catholics can be helpful at times . . .

Alex