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#55760 03/08/04 02:21 PM
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My brother's parish is eliminating First Communion. They will have on the Saturday before Mother's Day First Confession/First Penance.

There will be no special clothing.

I understand the reason --children have been receiving communion since they were BaptiZed--but I think there is another aspect that the church is overlooking.

That is the concept of taking responsiblity for one's actions.

However they are eliminating the memories. And those were special memories for me. I remember going to confession thinking about all the things I did. Promising never to do it again.

I remember getting up Sunday morning. Brushing my teeth so carefully that I didn't shallow any toothpaste because I was going to receive the precious body and blood of our Lord and Savior. I remember getting dressed up I remember walking to church and several people congratulating me on making my first communion. I remember assembling in the back of the church and walking down the aisle with my fellow First Communionites. I remember standing in front of the altar and renouncing Satan. And then going up to receive. As I knelt in front of the Icon of St Michael I remember asking him to guard me from the temptations of Satan. Then as Father came around and gave us communion I can't put to words what I felt.

But I digress... yes these children have received the body & blood of Jesus before but now they are receiving it because they are capable of confessing their faults/weakness beause they want to receive.

Why not celebrate the First communion after the First Confession.

This is a time when perhaps someone who hasn't been to the sacraments in a while will see and realize what they are missing.

It is also a way to keep people involved in church. I suspect there will be many people who will go to a Roman Catholic church to have their children receive First Communion. Again we will lose members.

Besides Grandma and Grandpa want those pictures.

#55761 03/08/04 02:28 PM
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Why isn't first recognition of ones sinful state special enough? Wear all the nice clothes you wish and make it special. I wonder why this isn't done on Sunday mornings but "first communion" makes no sense when it isn't "first communion".

Many of my Roman Catholic students find that infants receiving communion is very shocking. They often comment "Why don't they have to wait until 'first communion'"? To which I respond, "They did."

Dan Lauffer

#55762 03/08/04 03:27 PM
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Here's an idea.

We can make First Confession a big special occasion! After all, why shouldn't it be.

It also is a Holy Mystery. It also is receiving Life-creating Grace from God.

I understand the "Special Day" for child and family. And I'm all for it.

Re. First Communion, I'm less comfortable with having "First Communion" after they've been receiving Communion every Sunday (and Feastday) since they were baptised. It just strikes me as weird - even if one calls it (as in some parishes) First SOLEMN Communion. (The others weren't "solemn"? They looked pretty Solemn to me!)

my 2 pence

Herb

#55763 03/09/04 03:33 AM
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Dear Friends,
We should Thank God that our Children are no longer deprived of the Life-giving Body and Blood of our Lord until they reach some magical age. I also received my "First Holy Communion" at the age of 7 and frankly over 40 years later, I have no definitive memories of the day. Perhaps I should have waited until I was 13, or perhaps 43 in order to have better memories! My dear "little Green Coat" the "memories" of day are NOT the issue. Eternal Life and faithfulness to Byzantine Christianity are much more important issues.

In my parish we celebrate the participation in First Holy Repentance during the Great Fast. And then the Children are our special "guests" at our Thomas Sunday Liturgy and Dinner. This is the same form as our local Orthodox Churches use.

Parents who believe that they are doing something "proper" by depriving their children until the age of 7 should be told they are committing spiritual child abuse. Since they are depriving their children of the "Eternal Life" provided by the faithful reception of the Holy Eucharist. They should read the Gospel of John Chapter 6 and just get over it.

#55764 03/09/04 06:07 AM
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Fr. Vladimir and little green coat,

While it is certainly true that traditions are important, it is more important to be faithful to Tradition. Little Green Coat's memories are of something that should never have been. That doesn't make the memories any less important, nor should such events be discarded lightly -- there should always be sufficient catechesis to explain why such a change takes place.

Fr. Vladimir's comments are right on the mark, but do not address the real sense of loss that is present.

We need to remember that we are Byzantine, and that carries a lot of Tradition and tradition with it. We need to rediscover our original traditions, and "first communion" isn't one of them. That's a Latin tradition consistent with their intellectual approach to theology. It is not consistent with our experiential approach, however.

So, while you may miss the event, it's important that you recognize that you experienced an anomolous situation and to try to reconcile yourself with the idea that the Church is doing the right thing by reclaiming her true Tradition.

Edward, deacon and sinner

#55765 03/09/04 09:00 AM
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Quote
Originally posted by Father Vladimir:

We should Thank God that our Children are no longer deprived of the Life-giving Body and Blood of our Lord until they reach some magical age. I also received my "First Holy Communion" at the age of 7 and frankly over 40 years later, I have no definitive memories of the day. Perhaps I should have waited until I was 13, or perhaps 43 in order to have better memories! My dear "little Green Coat" the "memories" of day are NOT the issue. Eternal Life and faithfulness to Byzantine Christianity are much more important issues.

...

Parents who believe that they are doing something "proper" by depriving their children until the age of 7 should be told they are committing spiritual child abuse. Since they are depriving their children of the "Eternal Life" provided by the faithful reception of the Holy Eucharist. They should read the Gospel of John Chapter 6 and just get over it. (emphasis mine)
Father Vladimir,

The sarcasm and negativity that pervades your post are not likely to be positive factors in encouraging folks to reclaim their heritage. Let's remember that latinized practices were introduced into Eastern Catholic Churches and parishes with the implicit consent or, at least, acquiesence of the hierarchy and clergy. On the whole, it was not parishoners who had or should have been expected to have the werewithal, knowledge, and understanding of Tradition that could have been brought to bear against the encroachment of latinizers. Thus, what they do and know is what the Church/church and its ministry allowed and/or encouraged. It seems to me that the circumstances and manner in which these practices were introduced to the faithful were likely less rude than that in which you propose to disabuse them of the concepts - and, thus, more likely to gain acceptance. (It's the time-honored contest between honey and vinegar as attractants; last I looked, honey was still winning.)

I am someone who firmly believes in the necessity for us to return to and reclaim our Traditions. Yet - if I were someone less convinced of that need or less familiar with what constituted those Traditions - and the idea of doing so was introduced to me in the terms that you've used here, I'd likely hie myself to the nearest church environ in which I saw a priest who would work with me to bring me to an understanding - not one who would accuse me of "spiritual child abuse" or tell me to "get over it."

I think it's rather a stretch to take the viewpoint that what's at issue here is a choice between Eternal Life and a memory.

Many years,

Neil


"One day all our ethnic traits ... will have disappeared. Time itself is seeing to this. And so we can not think of our communities as ethnic parishes, ... unless we wish to assure the death of our community."
#55766 03/09/04 01:50 PM
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Dear Friends,

I agree with Neil!

My parish has the "First Confession" event that looks very much like the RC "First Communion."

It was necessary as a kind of "bridge" from the First Communion practice.

At the same time, there are recognizeable catechetical benefits from this practice.

While it is true that catechesis is an ongoing process, the fact is that "First Confession" is a good opportunity for children to learn the basics of the faith in a concerted fashion.

My parish gives Holy Communion to infants at baptism and chrismation and at every opportunity afterwards.

But "First Confession" is something that I feel should not be discarded.

And, judging by the massive turnouts of parents and families at these great, celebratory events - it won't be!

Alex

#55767 03/09/04 02:58 PM
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I agree with Fr. Vladimir concerning "spiritual child abuse", as it certainly is to deny a child the Body and Blood of Our Lord and Saviour if within the Byzantine Tradition there is no call for this, simply for the sake of pictures, and I really abhor a "faux event" staged "First Communion"....I LOVE the concept of a "First Confession".

Too often the Sacrament of Penance is a neglected one, and by making it a cause for celebration at an early age, rather than a cause for dread, a young child is more apt to fall easily into the pattern of confession, at an early age, when the sins they have are not so grievous, and carry on doing so later in life when they most need the direction of a Spiritual Father.

To assume, however, that a parish priest would be as blunt in his pastoral care as he would be on a discussion forum is perhaps assuming a bit much. Very clearly to know and to state a thing is wrong, or uncanonical, and vent frustration on a forum where in general most participants are better informed about such matters than the average parishioner is a good deal different than the tone one would take explaining from the begining to someone in the parish with no background and no understanding. One can be very "honied" at parish level, yet "vinegary" in reflection at the level of understanding that is not present. We are all guilty of such, clergy and laity alike, laity blaming clergy and vice versa. During this season of the Great Fast, we should reflect more on the Lenten Prayer of St. Ephraim:

O Lord and Master of my life, take from me the spirit of sloth, despondency, lust for power and idle talk.
(Prostration)

But grant unto me, Thy servant, a spirit of chastity, humility, patience and love.
(Prostration)

Yea, O Lord and King, grant me to see mine own faults and not to judge my brothers and sisters. For blessed art Thou unto ages of ages. Amen.
(Prostration)

O God, cleanse Thou me a sinner (12 times, with as many bows, and then again the whole prayer from the beginning throughout, and after that one great prostration)

Gaudior, with prostration

#55768 03/09/04 03:59 PM
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Originally posted by Gaudior:
I agree with Fr. Vladimir concerning "spiritual child abuse", as it certainly is to deny a child the Body and Blood of Our Lord and Saviour if within the Byzantine Tradition there is no call for this, simply for the sake of pictures, and I really abhor a "faux event" staged "First Communion"....I LOVE the concept of a "First Confession".

...

To assume, however, that a parish priest would be as blunt in his pastoral care as he would be on a discussion forum is perhaps assuming a bit much.
Gaudior,

No, assuming a bit too much is making the presumption that all who frequent a discussion forum are at a level of understanding that will allow them to read this type of language and not come away with a sense of having been chastised for understanding a situation, not of their making, as the norm.

And the prescriptive nature of Father Vladimir's last paragraph gives me little hope that he is more "honied" in the pastoral setting than he was here - he certainly doesn't seem to suggest that others be so:

Quote
Parents who believe that they are doing something "proper" by depriving their children until the age of 7 should be told they are committing spiritual child abuse. Since they are depriving their children of the "Eternal Life" provided by the faithful reception of the Holy Eucharist. They should read the Gospel of John Chapter 6 and just get over it.(emphasis added}


"One day all our ethnic traits ... will have disappeared. Time itself is seeing to this. And so we can not think of our communities as ethnic parishes, ... unless we wish to assure the death of our community."
#55769 03/09/04 05:29 PM
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Originally posted by Irish Melkite:

No, assuming a bit too much is making the presumption that all who frequent a discussion forum are at a level of understanding that will allow them to read this type of language and not come away with a sense of having been chastised for understanding a situation, not of their making, as the norm.

And the prescriptive nature of Father Vladimir's last paragraph gives me little hope that he is more "honied" in the pastoral setting than he was here - he certainly doesn't seem to suggest that others be so:

Quote
Parents who believe that they are doing something "proper" by depriving their children until the age of 7 should be told they are committing spiritual child abuse. Since they are depriving their children of the "Eternal Life" provided by the faithful reception of the Holy Eucharist. They should read the Gospel of John Chapter 6 and just get over it.(emphasis added}
[/QB]
(With humble bow) You are correct, Irish Melkite, as to the level of understanding on a forum. It is not unilateral, by any means. I merely put forth the fact that in general, those doing any form of outside reading concerning their faith are tter informed about it than those who never have done any.

But read my words again concerning venting. Many often do so, particularly when they are not face to face with someone. Most priests would doubless in a pastoral situation direct people to the passage in question, and have a homily written on the subject in question, using phrases like "depriving a child of the spiritual nourishment that is on par with the physical nourishment they need to grow"...Gaudior HAS heard priests address this...the nuts and bolts is : EQUALS Spiritual child abuse. The wording used in the homilies is quite a bit different. It is often on par with the: Everything your superstitious grandmother told you about the faith is totally wrong, will you people listen to your PRIEST for a change and GET OVER IT homily. No one says that in a pastoral setting, but we have ALL sat in gatherings of clergy and heard this.

Gaudior, who, if you are nice, will tell you the story about killing a chicken as part of a wedding.....

#55770 03/10/04 01:34 PM
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Rightly or wrongly first communion was my tradition.

I am just glad that both my daughters have made their First Communion because I would have hated to tell the younger one there is no first communion for you.

Secondly you will alienate some people and the Byzantine church with its small numbers can't afford to lose any more members or they will have empty church full of old traditions that no one can relate to.

#55771 03/10/04 01:47 PM
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LGC,

Your comment goes both ways however. Yes some will be alienated and leave for lack of First Holy Communion, others will be alienated and leave because of it. I know accounts of both. I would rather lose people for being faithful to our own traditions than for hanging on to Latinizations we have been called to shed and which do not mesh with our theology or fit into our system of Christian Initiation.

Fr. Deacon Lance


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#55772 03/10/04 03:30 PM
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I'm not convinced that First Penance should be something that All Second Graders do on X Sunday.

It's not like most of our parishes have hundreds and hundreds of children so there's a need to regiment it.

Some kids are ready for the Most Neglected Mystery much earlier, and some much later. I think a "one size fits all" mentality is counterproductive, counter to good theology, and potentially harmful pastorally.

My seven year old is "in the chute" for First Penance in less than a month. To be absolutely honest, I'm REALLY debating it. He's a very young seven, and Sonic the Hedgehog is far more real to him than sin - even though he knows what is right and what is wrong. I'm not sure that "doing it with his class" is more important than coming to the Mystery with trust when HE is ready, which may be six weeks or six months from now.

I'm far more concerned with nurturing his soul than with the nice suit (which he does not own) and the photos (which we are terrible about getting developed anyway. "Gee, wonder what's on this roll of film" wink )

Pullin' on my asbestos underwear...


Sharon

#55773 03/10/04 03:46 PM
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Sharon, I agree, re: nurturing of soul. WHOLEHEARTEDLY. But as I cannot speak to what materials your child's class is using, nor to how his priest may be preparing them for confession, all I can suggest is that if you are willing to PM me, I will be happy to provide you with two very excellent visual methods of teaching your child this concept at home so as to be certain he "gets it"...with no effort, and so it remains with him forever. We use them with younger children with excellent results.

Gaudior, penitentially.

#55774 03/10/04 03:51 PM
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Further, would so like to add that I applaud you on your stance for doing things at your child's pace...refreshing... biggrin

Gaudior

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