www.byzcath.org Forums Faith & Christian Life Faith & Theology Things Latins Shouldn't Say In A Byzantine Church

No one will believe this one, but it happened and I was there. This family (for reasons best known to themselves) wanted a Divine Liturgy - in Greek, no less - for a funeral in a local RC Church. OK, why not? So a bunch of Byzantine stalwarts went to serve, sing, read and so on, wondering what on earth the 200-odd people in attendance thought was taking place at their altar. Simple - they all thought it was a pre-Vatican II Requiem High Mass. Nothing, but nothing, could convince the good folks that their impression was mistaken. Incognitus

"I think everyone likes incense, with the possible exception of those with breathing disorders. They might be surprised, but they'll love it!"

Only after getting used to it. My experience is that incense is an acquired taste. When i was a RC altar boy, I usually was in charge of the thurible and boat, as I was one of the few in the servers corps that knew the services (in particular Benediction, but also the Holy Week services), and actually knew how to swing it properly, three little clinks and all, and could keep it lit for the whole service, while producing voluminous billows of smoke. I never heard anything but complaints from the folks except for those over 70, the Priest, and my parents. Alot of it had to do with being accustomed to it.

Why does the priest face away from the people?

How can you tolerate standing for 1 1/2 hours?

Why do you sing so much?

Why so much gold? Imagine how many poor people could be fed that money (sounding of course like Judas at the Last Supper).

Why so few pews? Do you think anyone's is going to come if they have to stand?

The one I wish they'd ask but won't because we don't do it, Why do you guys greet each other with a holy kiss?

Dan Lauffer

8. Was Your Organist Sick Today ?

"The one I wish they'd ask but won't because we don't do it, Why do you guys greet each other with a holy kiss?"

They do not style the Holy Kiss as such. I have a Greek Orthodox friend, and when we greet each other, usually at (RC) church functions or gatherings, we greet each other in this fashion. The RC onlookers usually stop dead, and some look horrified. My mother, who is usually present, laughs at them, and we explain that we are indeed not homosexual, but this is the proper way Christians greet each other....

It makes for a great moment to explain the Eastern Churches and our cultur to those who would otherwise have no contact with us.

The most common question I am asked is: Are you under the Pope?

I usually reply by saying that I don't understand what you mean, but I do know for a fact that the Pope is in communion with my bishop!

Joe Prokopchak
a sinner in much need of God's mercy

I have a friend who helps with a Byzantine Mission parish and he makes SURE that on the newsletter it says "in Full Communion with Rome"

I always kid him "you do that for the Latins???"

I love this!

I'm gonna use it

All you guys Orthodox?

Here's what I heard from my Lutheran mother when she attended my son's baptism at the Cathedral of St. Mary:

"That's a weird church."

"You guys really must be Catholics, since you have bingo on Tuesday night." :p

1. "I didn't get in line with you guys because I thought they were passing out meatballs and gravy." (heard from a seminarian after his first visit to a Byzantine Catholic Church in Columbus, Ohio)

2. "You mean you guys aren't Buddhist?" (heard from another seminarian who thought the pic of the man in the dome was the Buddha)

3. "We gotta get back to Columbus so we can attend Mass and fulfill our Sunday obligation." (after attending a heirarchical Divine Liturgy at a Byzantine Catholic church on Sunday morning near Cleveland, Ohio)

4. "We must love the East and embrace ecumenism." (while by-passing a neighboring Eastern Catholic Church to drive twenty miles to meet with Orthodox Christians)

5. "But I assumed you guys were a part of 'organized' religion."

6. "We didn't come earlier because we had to attend Mass first." (arriving after baptismal Divine Liturgy just ended and half the family already left)

Joe Thur

Dear Friends,

You folks are so funny! Great sense of humor.
Humor makes us HUMAN. Ever hear a dog tell a joke?

I chose the joke listed above because it made me realize that bingo is what makes me feel at home at an Eastern parish

Paul

We don't have bingo and probably never will, thank God. How did your churches get trapped in this nonsense?

dan lauffer

Hello Dan,

From a previous post I got the idea that bingo is played in some BC parishes. Can any one verify this?

Anyway in this thread the point is humor. My pun is that bingo is Catholicism's eighth sacrament ).

In my unhistorical opinion bingo probably got started as a fund raiser. Our parish plays bingo only at Thanksgiving. "Turkey Bingo" because instead of cash turkeys are the prizes.

I don't have a problem with bingo at Catholic parishes although I don't play myself. I see it mostly as a social thing. I suppose a few people might make a gambling problem out of it.

Keep the jokes coming.

Paul