www.byzcath.org Forums Faith & Christian Life Faith & Theology regulations regarding weddings

I know that weddings do not take place during any of the fasting periods. When can they take place? Is it possible to have a wedding after the Nativity fast, for instance between Christmas and Epiphany? Or during Bright week?
Blessings
Michele

Byzantine Catholics are mostly not as strict in their observance of the traditional marriage practices of the Eastern Church.

Here is something I found from an Orthodox website, but don't know their sources:

A. Couples should plan their weddings for seasons, times and days which are permitted by the Church for marriage. The most appropriate time for weddings is Sunday, after the Divine Liturgy.

Marriages are not to be celebrated on:
- the evenings before Wednesdays and Fridays throughout the year;

- on Saturday evenings throughout the year;

- the eves of the twelve Great Feasts, or patronal feasts of the parish;

- during the course of all the fasts (Great Fast, Apostles' Fast, Dormition Fast, Advent Fast);

- during the course of Cheesefare Week (from Sunday of Meatfare to the Sunday of Cheesefare);

- from the feast of the Nativity of the Lord (December 25) through the feast of the Synaxis of St. John the Baptist (January 7);

- on the day and the eve of the Beheading of St. John the Baptist (August 29) and the Elevation of the Cross (September 14).

2. Because marriages are normally not to be celebrated on Saturdays, requests for Saturday weddings require a petition in writing to the Bishop, by the rector, for the Bishop's consent.
- those Saturday weddings that are permitted will be celebrated no later than 11:00 a.m., with the reception to conclude well before the evening vigil services.

B. Marriages are to be celebrated in an Orthodox Church building, and not in halls, gardens, or other places.

Web source: http://www.dneoca.org/articles/marriage.html

Hmmm... does anyone have a resource that explains why weddings are restricted to certain times? And in particular, why is a wedding not generally permissable between the feast of the Nativity and Epiphany?
Curiously,
Michele

Dear Michele,

I think that the key to understanding what may appear to be esoteric or arcane restrictions on the permissible dates for weddings can be found in the basic principle of fasting/preparation and feasting/rejoicing.

Or put another way..."a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing." (Ecclesiastes)

So, the period after Nativity up to the Epiphany/Theophany has no preparation. It is a fast-free period.

We want the bride and groom to go into the marriage "sober," so to speak.

Also, there are always exceptions to the norms, granted with the approval of the bishop.

For example, I have also seen it printed that the exclusive period during advent begins on December 15th, not November 15th. Also, I have seen guidelines with no restrictions at all during the fast of Peter & Paul/the Apostles. Of course, the basic restriction of no weddings on the eve of a Divine Liturgy (Sunday or other Feast Day) holds strong.

In Christ,
Andrew

The basic concept in these restrictions is to preserve a proper preparation time for the feasts or the weekly celebration of the Eucharist. The feast of the Epiphany is every bit as important as the Nativity, thus the focus on preparation for this feast "trumps" the potential wedding.

A good resource for understanding the marriage ritual and the evolution of practice in the east is:

Meyendorff, John. Marriage : an Orthodox perspective. 2d expanded ed. Crestwood, N.Y.: St. Vladimir's Seminary Press, 1975.
A brief history of the marriage ritual in the Byzantine tradition. An examination of the Jewish roots and developments necessitated by the legalization of marriage in the Byzantine empire. Some discussion of moral issues related to marriage.

Steve Puluka
Cantor, Holy Ghost Church
Mckees Rocks, PA

Thank you for directing me to the information I was looking for. I will do some more research on this and trust that God will enlighten me as well.
Many blessings
Michele

With all this talk of weddings, I can't resist announcing that my fiancee and I will be crowned in two weeks. Pray for us!

Dear JohnRussell,

Congratulations! But remember that when the husband takes his crown off, the wife keeps it on permanently!

And you are so "Byzantine!"

Perhaps you might wish to slightly alter your surname to "Rus'sell . . ."

Alex

Some Orthodox don't always follow the standard to the letter that Lazareno quoted, but use economia in making decisions about the day of the week, time of day, and location. I once performed chamber music before and after a wedding (not during) in a garden late on a Saturday afternoon. When I asked the priest how he came to do it, he said economia. The couple lived in NYC, and their parents lived in Phoenix. There were travel arrangements, etc. to be worked out. He said that had they not used economia, the couple would have gone elsewhere, which would carry an implication for their futures for which he felt it was not worth being inflexible. I liked his answer.

Jim,

I agree in accommodation where it does not distort the crux of the sacrament.

Recently, for example, a couple in Philadelphia wanted contemporary music during the crowning service in the Orthodox Church. This was correctly denied to them by both resident diocesan priests in the city even though they cited this practice from our Cathedral in Boston.

However, their request to have the exchange of flowers inserted into the service (a little ceremony invented by florists who thereby sell more product) was allowed, but was ensconced in the traditional prayers for the blessing of flowers.

I agreed with this adjustment. Even I'm flexible (on a rare occasion).

In Christ,
Andrew