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Would someone be willing to post a 'roll play' version of a Confession? Maybe someone could post a "this is how you do it in Rome" and someone else could post a "this is how you do it in the east".

Although I am Ukrainian-Greek Catholic, I go to a Roman priest for Confession, because it's much more convenient for me (don't beat me up on this - it's necessary). I am newly Catholic and Confession is really, really awkward.

So it would really help me if someone would post a model similar to:

Penitent: Walks in to Confessional
Then? I confess to Almighty God...
Priest: ????
Penitent: sins said (and do I wait for the priest to indicate saying an act of contrusion?)
Priest: Absolution & penance given
then what?

Other than me walking out of there quaking from fear, how is Confession normally supposed to go. I always leave feeling like it did do it �right�.

Sorry if I have asked a taboo question, I just need a little help here. If children can go to Confession and not die of fear, than surely I can too...?

P.S. Please don�t say, talk to your priest. I�m too embarrassed . I�m sure I�m not the only convert who has felt like this in going to Confession. Thanks!

Don't feel bad. As a convert, I also feel akward before/during confession. I'm actually going to confession tonight, but going to Roman Catholic because I'm working when the ByzCath church has confession (and also because it's scary ).

I'm interested to hear from the veteran's out there!

What I offer to you is my personal experience, please do not take this for spiritual direction. I am a mere layman and no spiritual director in any sense of the word. But I have been to confession to both Roman and byzantine priests; though now I only go to my parish priest.

Basically, the differences are these:

(Roman)
1. Enter, "bless me father for I have sinned."
2. Confess your sins
3. Priest will say a few words, give you a penance and ask you to make an act of contrition
4. Make an act of contrition, "O God I am heartily sorry...."
5. Priest will give you absolution
you are done.

(Byzantine)
1. The priest may say some opening prayers and will then instruct you to confess your sins
2. Confess sins
3. Priest may give you advice or penance, but not necessarily
4. Priest will say something like "bow down and receive the Lord's blessing"
5. Priest will put his stole over your head and pronounce that you are forgiven
6. Then, many priests will share the kiss of peace with you and and tell you to no longer be troubled by the evil you have done.
That is it.

The biggest difference I see is that the Roman approach to confession seems to put emphasis on specificity in confession and on procedure. My experience with eastern priests is that you simply come to confession and reveal all that is on your heart. Also, I believe that Roman priests are required to give a penance, but byzantine priests are not. In fact, my priest usually doesn't give a penance.

When I first converted, I was trying to be both Roman and Byzantine. I was reading scholastic theology, western prayer manuals, and devotionals as well as byzantine readings. I became caught up in indulgences and on the need to make sure that I had confessed each sin specifically enough to count, yet not so specific that I might lead the priest into sin. In the end, I ended up in the hospital with a nervous breakdown. This was almost 6 years ago.

Here is some advice a priest gave to me. You can never make a perfect confession. And, if you are excessively scrupulous, you will always be able to find something that didn't go right. So, be on guard against scrupulosity. Peace in Christ,

Joe

God bless you Joe!

That's exactly what I needed. You've certainly been in my boat and know how I feel.

I will *try* to relax next time, so I don't end up in your boat (hospital's gotta be worse than confession).

Thanks for sharing your story. It's really helped me to feel better.

Pax Christi,
Mary

Nathan,

Okay, I 'confess', I find the idea of confessing to a priest and he knowing who I am, as in the Byzantine rite, completely frighting.

I think I would die of fright.

I would be interesting in hearing from veterans too.

In the Latin Rite it's also fairly common to say Forgive Me Father I Have Sinned, and then you ALWAYS state how long it's been since your last confession.If you are nervous, most priests are very helpful in examining you, as it's often easier to just admit that you've committed a particular sin, rather than having to describe it. For your penance, the vast majority of time it's Our Fathers or Hail Mary's. Best question I was ever asked during confession, came from a very holy Opus Dei priest (and some people think they're so serious) was "what was the final score in the Cubs game".

Mary,

Thank you for posting this question, it has been on my mind as well. I have always wanted to know the various forms of each particular church.

If someone could post the way confession is said in the other Churches, I would be grateful.

Thank you.

The others have the mechanics of it all pretty well laid out. As far as being worried about anonymity, two thoughts:

1) Sin is boring, and priests have heard them all. Nothing is more boring than sin. Don't flatter yourself that you are going to titillate them. I've also found that some of my priest friends are given the gift of forgetfulness--they really can't remember what goes on.

2) My brother used not to go so often, and his wife would say "Don't worry. Don't even think about the priest. You're really confessing to Jesus." My brother said "You know that's scarier, right?"

I get really nervous when I go the Latin church and have to go into the confessional. I have trouble being quiet, too, and the priest often tells me to keep it down.

But when I go to confession at my own church, in front of the Icon of Christ, I'm not nervous. I went to another church and went to confession, and the church was pretty full, and my voice wasn't too loud, and again, even standing in front of the growing congregation, I wasn't nervous.

Odd...

A piece of advice from an old Roman priest. If you only have venial sins, confess only about 3 different ones. Don't get weighed down on enumerating each and every one. Confess the 3 venial sins that you are having the hardest time quitting.

Having written that, of course one must confess every mortal sin. And if one is unsure, confess it as if it were a mortal sin. There is a good little booklet on what is and isn't a mortal sin, it has a picture of Our Lord by a Spanish Master on it, it is a purplish-blue color.

Once again, I second what the above posters wrote, do your best, don't worry about forgetting anything as it will be forgiven, don't leave any mortal sin out on purpose, and you'll be fine.

If I can't remember whether a person was hurting on the right side or the left after he leaves my office, the priest is not going to remember how many lies you told or even that you told any.

I've also been told that the Holy Ghost gives our priests "holy forgetfulness" regarding our sins.

If it's any help, I always end my confession with

"For all the things that I have done or failed to do; for all the tings I have omitted, not from a desire to hide sin but from poor memory; for all the things I may have done to damage another in his faith because he sees me as an example even if I do not know it; for anything else I may have done to hinder or harm the spread of the Gospel by commission of omission, for all these things I am truly sorry."

If you are open to the Holy Spirit, if you know that you have not measured up to the standard that the Lord would have you measure up to, but ALWAYS REMEMBER HIS MERCY and HIS ABSOLUTE DESIRE to reconcile you to Himself and restore the Divine Life of Baptism in you, you can be at peace and know that He again embraces you as the Father embraced the Prodigal Son.

In Christ,

BOB

if i'm not mistaken...what to say in an Eastern (UGCC)confession is laid out in "The Divine Liturgy: An Anthology for Worship". It's what my wife and I use.

http://web.ustpaul.uottawa.ca/Sheptytsky/pubs/publications_main.htm

Bob, would that include the letter h?

-- Penthaetria

Thank you all for your kind posts. I think it's fair to say, for converts confession feels scary. It takes time to get accustomed to.

I know you are confessing to Christ, and not the priest alone. Like another person posted - that's more scary. I guess looking at the cross and telling Jesus, "I did this to you"...it's hard to tell Jesus you went against His will, even if you didn't mean it.

--And you can laugh at me for this one...the last time I went to confession I had to write it down. Because, the time before that I got so scared I forgot everything! I'm sure the priest heard the crinkle of the paper, and thought it a little odd, but that was the ONLY way I was going to get through it, not forget everything, and not feel terrified. Maybe this is not appropriate? I got the idea from a Catholic movie 'The Nun'; I think - where the sisters wrote down their sins to confess.

You know, the weird thing is, as scared as I am to go to confession, the last time I left feeling like I wanted to do this more often. It was a really good feeling. I think that was the grace I recieved from the sacrament. I think I could really since God's mercy, and the feeling of being reconsiled to Him. I think it makes Jesus happy when we use this sacrament.

Peace---and please to keep posting.

--Mary

P.S. not checking spelling on this post. Sorry.

I used a list last night as well. The only problem I have sometimes is when the priests tells you to do the Rosary as penance, becuase being a Luthern converted to Byzantine, I never learned the Rosary. The first time a priest said this I told him I was ByzCath and didn't know the Rosary, but I now I'm just going to learn the Rosary for future cases.